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the list of corrections they're going to have to run will read something like this:

"Peoples' Choice Award" is America's greatest honor
Styrofoam is not made from kittens
The U.F.O. was a paper plate
The nerds on the internet are not geeks
The word "cheese" is not funny in and of itself
The older Flanders boy is Todd, not Rod
Lyndon Johnson did not provide the voice of Yosemite Sam
If you are reading this you have no life
Roy Rogers was not buried inside his horse
The other U.F.O. was an upside down salad spinner
Our universities are not "hotbeds" of anything
Mr. Dershowitz did not literally have four eyes
Our viewers are not pathetic, sexless food tubes
Audrey Hepburn never weighed 400 pounds
The "Cheers" gang is not a real gang
Salt water does not chase the "thirsties" away
Licking an electrical outlet does not turn you into a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger
Cats do not eventually turn into dogs
Bullets do not bounce off of fat boys
Recycling does not deplete the ozone
Everything is 10% fruit juice
The flesh eating virus does not hide in ice cream
Janet Reno is evil
V8 juice is not 1/8 gasoline
Ted Koppel is a robot
Women aren't from Venus and men aren't from Mars
Fleiss does floss
Quayle is familiar with common bathroom procedures
Bart is bad to the bone
Godfry Jones' wife is cheating on him
The Beatles haven't reunited to enter kick boxing competitions
The "Bug" on your TV screen can see into your home
Everyone on TV is better than you


Responses:
  • [deleted] 2
    • spoils - prayformojo Feb 10, 17:18 1
      • [deleted]
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