ST Alpha - "Mop needs to just like, work on striking up conversations with women he has no interest in." (Reading a Post)

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Mop needs to just like, work on striking up conversations with women he has no interest in.

Posted by groiny (aka groiny) Mar 10 '15, 13:41

Just find something to say to them when getting on an elevator, or holding a door for them and giving them an "after you...". just little things to get used to not being so balled up inside your shell.

Responses:

Here's a few things to consider. - Mop Mar 10, 14:03 24
- Read this book -- (link) - con_carne Mar 10, 14:16 2
  - Right. "Read this book" is totally a compelling case. -- nm - Mop Mar 10, 14:39 1
    - I read it and I recommend it. I have issues similar to yours -- nm - con_carne Mar 10, 14:42
- couple retorts..... - groiny Mar 10, 14:09 6
  - Rejection is the normal state of things for any successful person, in dating or other facets of life -- nm - con_carne Mar 10, 14:20 5
    - "I miss 100% of the shots I don't take" -Michael Jordan -- nm - Loyola Mar 10, 14:26 4
      - ultimately, if you strike out 25 times, and hit a homer on time 26, who cares about the 25? -- nm - groiny Mar 10, 14:28 3
        
        not adam dunn, that's for sure -- nm - dogbert Mar 10, 14:29 2
        
        shush you, I am trying to help the man! -- nm - groiny Mar 10, 14:30 1
        
        you still can, just point out how big his paycheck was even though he didn't care -- nm - dogbert Mar 10, 14:37
- it's trite but true: if you keep on doing what you've always done, you will keep on getting what you've always gotten. - b. Mar 10, 14:06 1
  - I should add that if you're ok with things as is, there's nothing wrong with that; but it doesn't seem like you are. - b. Mar 10, 14:18
- If that's the way you feel....that's fine....but ya know what isn't happening here? - Will Hunting Mar 10, 14:06 11
  - Creepy old man. Creepy old man. Creepy old man. - Mop Mar 10, 14:12 10
    - if you are talking to women nearish your own age, this is not a factor. -- nm - Andie Mar 10, 14:30 2
      - I agree with groiny, this is the wrong way to think about it. If she's over 18, then what is the problem really? - con_carne Mar 10, 15:06
      - good point! -- nm - b. Mar 10, 14:35
    - and really, as long as they can get into a bar legally, age is a non factor. -- nm - groiny Mar 10, 14:22
    - and that is ok (the IM), but when someone specifically makes eye contact and smiles at you..... - groiny Mar 10, 14:20 4
      - Yeah, they initiated...try to get out of the way, hell, you might end up with a great story. - Will Hunting Mar 10, 14:22 3
        
        really, this was my favorite part about being single, I loved the chase. - groiny Mar 10, 14:24 2
        
        I'm 100% shy, I'm terrible at this stuff...but the thought paralysis is just hell - Will Hunting Mar 10, 14:32
        
        granted, I was 25 and not 45 at the time, but I can't think it makes all that much difference. nm -- nm - groiny Mar 10, 14:25
    - You need to get in control of your inner monologue. -- nm - Will Hunting Mar 10, 14:18
Women I have no interest in don't make me nervous and insecure. With them, I'm fantastic. -- nm - Mop Mar 10, 13:44 23
- How about something more radical then? Make a decision not to date for a month(?(pick an amount any amount)). - tobor.2 Mar 10, 14:37 5
  - I've made a decision to not date for a year-and-a-half. Or, rather, the decision was made for me. -- nm - Mop Mar 10, 14:51 4
    - ???? -- nm - groiny Mar 10, 14:55 3
      - This is like watching a bear at a circus...chained, unhappy, unwilling to escape. -- nm - Loyola Mar 10, 15:01
      - I'm saying that deciding whether to date or not to date really isn't my decision to make. -- nm - Mop Mar 10, 14:59 1
        
        I mean you make the decision. Take it off the table for awhile. - tobor.2 Mar 10, 15:14
- oic. in that case, can you maybe work on not thinking of them as potential partners to start with? - b. Mar 10, 13:48 3
  - yeah, at the end of the day, it is just a date. - groiny Mar 10, 13:52 2
    - not even a date, just interacting with a subset of females. -- nm - b. Mar 10, 14:03 1
      - true, the end result, if good, is a date, if bad, it means you have to try again in another pond. nm -- nm - groiny Mar 10, 14:11
- your are putting the good looking ones way up on a mountain and then you have to climb up there to get to them. - groiny Mar 10, 13:47
- that is exactly your issue then, they are people just like you, why be nervous? - groiny Mar 10, 13:45 11
  - Oh man, I've made that mistake in the past and it held me back. I would think of women as potential dates first and as people second - con_carne Mar 10, 13:52 5
    - [deleted] 3
      - Now I know how hard Marty had to work it to get his dad to ask out Lorraine. -- nm - CQ Mar 10, 14:06 1
        
        *laughing* -- nm - kelly Mar 10, 14:08
      - unlike High School, he can go to a strip club and get lucky for 20 bucks. nm -- nm - groiny Mar 10, 14:00
    - I will share a story about this mindset..... - groiny Mar 10, 13:56
  - I think he needs to say to himself; "Is there a point to being nervous. Will I achieve anything by being nervous here?" - Loyola Mar 10, 13:49 3
    - the IM is totally a valid comparison. You can't succeed in pressure situations when you are shitting yourself. nm -- nm - groiny Mar 10, 13:50 2
      - Unless it's running away from a wild animal....might make him slip and slide and be unable to eat you. -- nm - Will Hunting Mar 10, 14:00
      - Exactly. It's ok to be nervous. But conquer it. If you strike out with the girl, you strike out. - Loyola Mar 10, 13:54
  - maybe their vaginas charge 10% interest. -- nm - Beaker Mar 10, 13:47

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Mop needs to just like, work on striking up conversations with women he has no interest in.

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