friday hax chat q: she is engaged to a toddler with a credit card
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Q: money conflict
Carolyn, I recently got engaged. My fiance and I are very happy together, but probably our biggest point of disagreement is our differing attitudes on money. (We are young adults, still figuring this stuff out). We both individually make enough to be comfortable, but over the last year or so he (well, "we" really) has racked up about two month's of his income's worth in credit card debt (that he has been working on paying off, but not as fast as it has been accruing, obviously), and doesn't seem nearly as worried about it as I am. And his parents have spending issues, which also makes me worry. If I were in the hole like that, I'd be so anxious I'd want to cut myself off and not buy anything unnecessary to survival until I was back on track. But if we are out shopping together, in the moment, it is hard to say no when he is excitedly pointing out how much enjoyment we will get out of *this fun thing*, and it's not that expensive, and it's on sale, how could we pass it up? (Everything from supplies for our various hobbies, to fancy food/beverage items, to gifts for family members). I don't want to constantly be the bad guy, either. How can we make and stick to a system that works, as I move in with him and we begin our lives together? We will have more income when I move in with him and stop paying rent, but I still don't want to be spending this much. If it helps, I don't think he has any mental health issues at play and is otherwise very responsible- getting to work on time, etc. I was thinking maybe we could get a separate credit card just for fun and unnecessary things, and stop using it if it gets above a certain limit until we pay it down, which should work in theory, but I'm still worried about things working out, or I wouldn't be writing.
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