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in case I get released early (prolly not) here's prudie's response to MIL Wedding Dress Mess...

It’s not that this is a not-nice thing to do. It’s that it’s a deranged thing to do. No one—no one—is going to be confused about who the bride will be. But the more literary-minded of your guests will wonder how Miss Havisham got an invitation to your wedding. I often advise that in the matter of in-law problems, the blood relation has first go at addressing this issue. Your fiancé should tell his mother he’s heard about her plan. He can say that she’s a grown woman and of course can wear whatever she likes, but that he’s worried she will embarrass herself by showing up to his wedding in her old wedding gown. Then if she decides to wear some puff-sleeved, high-necked horror from another era, just smile and tell her how happy you are to see her.

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