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Posts: 153
In response to
"
It's a bit stiff and teacherish.
"
by
tobor.2
Other than that the content is good, well worth posting on that score. -- nm
Posted by
tobor.2 (aka liioulu)
Jun 13 '15, 15:37
(No message)
Responses:
Thanks for the tips. I'd already done one pass to make it partially first person, perhaps more of that would help. -- nm
-
Beryllium
Jun 13, 15:42
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