friday hax chat q: writer loves their mom but doesn't really want her to invite herself on this upcoming trip
Posted by
jangles (aka chris)
Nov 6 '15, 10:09
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Q: Delicate Way to Uninvite Mom's Self-Invitation
Hi Carolyn. I am an avid traveler and a big introvert, which means I love seeing the world...solo. Part of the fun for me is sticking to (or abandoning) my own schedule, not taking a bunch of selfies (which I hate) and just sitting back an quietly observing without having to narrate every reaction to everything. My mother, who I love dearly, is a big extrovert, a chatter, and a vacation go-getter ("let's do EVERYTHING, woo-hoo!!"). As you can see, our vacation styles don't mix, and while we have vacationed together in the past, it has been hit or miss (some good times, some memorable melt downs). I am planning an expensive and weeks long trip to an interesting part of the world. When I mentioned this to my mother, she piped up with, "I want to come!". I could suck it up, and even enjoy some of it with her, but in all honesty, that would not be my preference. Quite frankly, I think I would enjoy this trip more without her, not because she's not a fantastic person and mother, but just because I prefer more quiet time. I even thought about saying, "Why don't you meet me at X point for a week?", but I know it will lead to a very sad-faced, "Why don't you want me to join you for the whole trip, I want to see that part of the world too?" My mother is a really great person and I don't want to hurt her feelings. Am I a terrible person and how do I make this work?
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