If I choose not to take over as guardian and conservator for my mother I shouldn't feel guilty, right?
|
She abandoned her children decades ago with nary a backward glance. Not that I'm going tit for tat.
I've read over the documents the public administrator sent me about the legal responsibilities for being guardian and/or conservator in Colorado. I admit I hadn't given the details much thought when I went out there. It just felt right to go. Now, knowing more about what I'm in for, I don't think I'm the right person. I suck at financial planning. The court will want an investment plan for my mother's money. There's a fair amount of annual reporting to the court, meaning detailed record-keeping during the year (I can be good at that). I can't reimburse myself for expenses (like flying out there upon need) - the judge has to approve that. They expect family members to not take money from the protected person's funds. I'd have to take time off without pay (using FMLA) to go out there. And flying out of CVG is expensive. I have a mortgage.
She's in a good place right now. Even the social worker who was against her going into the center says she's doing well after only a week. He sent me a pictures of her. She looks great. She had a big smile in one of them.
I can still visit her when I want, call the center for updates, and get updates from whoever takes over as guardian/conservator (likely the public administrator who has lots of experience with this).
I'm not in the will. There's really nothing I want from the house. I've seen her and know she's being taken care of. I really don't know if she even knows who I am. She's likely forgotten I even was there.
Taking on this job would be just that - a job, without pay, which many family members do all the time. But we've not been family at all in my adult lifetime.
Why am I feeling guilty?
|
Responses:
-
personally, i don't think you should feel guilty at all if you choose not to take on this responsibility ...
-
call me Ishmael
Feb 5, 12:44
-
not in the least. I think you are awesome just for doing all that you did do -- nm
-
Beaker
Feb 5, 11:36
-
I din't think you can help feeling guilty over things like this, it's part of human nature.
-
Roger More
Feb 5, 11:29
-
as long as you're confident that the guardian who is put in place won't loot the account, go with god -- nm
-
mr. plow
Feb 5, 11:29
1
-
She will be happier in the center with people, staff to look after her, instead of rattling around the house alone -- nm
-
zeitgeist
Feb 5, 11:29
-
You are doing right by her regardless of which choice you make, so no need to feel guilty. -- nm
-
TWuG
Feb 5, 11:26
- [deleted]
-
I would not feel guilty, but I tend to hold grudges for a long, long time. -- nm
-
groiny
Feb 5, 11:25
-
Hell no. Do what you feel is right. -- nm
-
Spawn
Feb 5, 11:25
|