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In response to
"So in relationship news, this whole getting married thing? Not so sure it's going to happen."
by
pmb
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dude, I am so so sorry. this couldn't happen to a nicer guy. you so don't deserve this. I'll say two things, neither of which will be very helpful.
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1) they're teenagers, right? or close to it? both of them? this is *the worst time* for something like this to be happening to them. they don't mean to be as bitchy as they're being, but they probably just don't know this yet because they're teenage girls. it'll get better -- you will one day be better able to deal with them, but unfortunately, they might not come around until it's too late for you here.
1b) you are an awesome father. I hope you know this. that you are even struggling with your decision here means that you are a better father than are most fathers I know. please know this, please do not ever doubt your parenting skills.
2) I don't talk about what happened with my father and ann and myself on-board because I like to keep things light and airy here, but several years ago, my dad moved in with a woman who was very resentful of ann and myself. she refused to let us have the house phone number, she was openly rude when she saw us, she called me a homewrecker loudly in a movie theatre, told my dad that we were too dependent on him. basically gave him an ultimatum: her, or us. he chose her.
obvs ann and I are far older than are your girls, but it is the case that one's children must always be close to the forefront of one's decisionmaking process. cutting children out of equations because they're too young to matter or too old to care is never safe.
circumstances ensued, some of which you know about. the woman left my dad in april of 2007. I've spoken to him twice since. things are irreparably broken. kind of sad.
if you let your fiancee "win," here, your girls will be devastated. and if you let them "win," you are setting dangerous precedent.
negotiating this one out is the only way. I know you're tired of it, but I also know you can do it.
I wish you super luck, and my counsel at any time should you need it.
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