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friday hax chat q: gf wanted him to put a ring on it, he told her maybe in a few years. she broke up and now he's regretful(ish)

Q: Alexandria, VA

Dear Carolyn, Girlfriend and I were together for about four years. I loved her but I had some immaturity issues. She asked me this year - are we going to get married soon? If so, I'd like to start that process. I told her that I could see it happening in 2-4 years, but that I don't feel any immediate desire for things to change between us. She cried (through multiple conversations) and then broke up with me. I feel like there's now a huge hole in my life. This is the first time in years that I have not spent several days and nights a week with her. I really miss her. I think it would be cruel to try to stay in the relationship if we have such different goals, but I would like to be able to ask for something in between friendship and a relationship. I don't just mean friends with benefits, but I would like for her to continue being a major figure in my life somehow. I'm probably not making sense. Can you see any way this could happen?


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