friday hax chat q: does she have invite dad's girlfriend to her wedding?
Posted by
gerald (aka chris)
Jul 8 '16, 09:50
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Q: Do I have to invite Dad's girlfriend to my wedding?
Hi Carolyn, thank you for taking my question. My mom died suddenly a year and a half ago at age 58. She was the best, basically; her only fault was her decision to marry and stay married to my dad, who is awful. He cemented his awful status by starting to date one of my brother's former friends a few months after my mom died; the friend became a former friend because she "joked" to my brother maybe two weeks after the funeral that she could finally go after my dad now that he's single. Then she did! They kept it a secret from my brother and I for months. While Mom was alive I only tolerated my dad because it was necessary to have a relationship with her, and since she died I've only continued my relationship with him because it's important to my brother. I live across the country and only have to see him a few times a year anyway, so it's tolerable. But I'm getting married next year. I met my fiance a few months after we lost Mom and he's been an amazing rock. We want our wedding to be a celebration of my mom and how happy she would have been to see me so happy; we're all wearing her favorite color, we're serving her famous pumpkin cake as our wedding cake, etc. I'm fine with having my dad there, but I absolutely do not want my dad's girlfriend there. It's not the fact of him having a girlfriend that bothers me; it's that it's this particular woman who was so disrespectful to my mom and to my brother so soon after she died. I know that I CAN insist on this, but is it the right thing to do? If I have to invite her, can you help me frame this so that it bothers me less? Thank you!
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