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on parenting chat q: their 9 year-old kid has explosive reactions

Q: Explosive reactions from 9-year-old

My 9-year-old daughter has an extremely low tolerance for frustration. If she's having trouble with any kind of task, she will snap at me if I ask if she needs help, and that often quickly turns into her screaming at the top of her lungs. She does not transition well (for instance, if it's time to go up for bed or leave the house), and that also often results in her screaming "Go away!" or "I don't care, I'm not going!" Lately she's become especially rude with these statements. When she is really angry or upset, she sometimes hits her younger sister. I admit I have been inconsistent about consequences, although when hitting is involved I usually take away screen time or dessert. It doesn't seem to have an effect; she's right back at it the next day. I'm unsure what to do to put a stop to the hitting and screaming. Should she be punished for yelling? I've read that it can be best to ignore this type of behavior, but I also don't think I should let her scream at anyone without making it clear that that's unacceptable behavior. She is well-behaved in school and in public so this is pretty much happening only at home. I will also mention that she is up until 10:00 or 11:00 most nights. It seems like her brain is unable to shut down. She'll sometimes get out of bed and literally run around the house or be talking nonstop well after 10:00 at night. Thank you for any advice you can offer.


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