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on parenting chat q: their 9 year-old kid has explosive reactions

Posted by shaolin fantastic (aka chris) Aug 31 '16, 10:25

Q: Explosive reactions from 9-year-old

My 9-year-old daughter has an extremely low tolerance for frustration. If she's having trouble with any kind of task, she will snap at me if I ask if she needs help, and that often quickly turns into her screaming at the top of her lungs. She does not transition well (for instance, if it's time to go up for bed or leave the house), and that also often results in her screaming "Go away!" or "I don't care, I'm not going!" Lately she's become especially rude with these statements. When she is really angry or upset, she sometimes hits her younger sister. I admit I have been inconsistent about consequences, although when hitting is involved I usually take away screen time or dessert. It doesn't seem to have an effect; she's right back at it the next day. I'm unsure what to do to put a stop to the hitting and screaming. Should she be punished for yelling? I've read that it can be best to ignore this type of behavior, but I also don't think I should let her scream at anyone without making it clear that that's unacceptable behavior. She is well-behaved in school and in public so this is pretty much happening only at home. I will also mention that she is up until 10:00 or 11:00 most nights. It seems like her brain is unable to shut down. She'll sometimes get out of bed and literally run around the house or be talking nonstop well after 10:00 at night. Thank you for any advice you can offer.

Responses:

Beat her like a rented mule -- nm - decline Aug 31, 10:52
In all seriousness I wonder if the kid is on the autism spectrum. Also, I'm betting the kid is not getting enough sleep. -- nm - pmb Aug 31, 10:45 3
- Just based off that maybe more on the ADHD scale with the lack of sleeping but if the kid is well behaved when she's not around I would question that. -- nm - spamlet Aug 31, 10:55
- I could have written that question - oblique Aug 31, 10:47
- yeah, the sleep sentence stood out for me as well. I wonder what time she sleeps in till as that could explain the late nights -- nm - Beaker Aug 31, 10:46
Street angel, house devil. -- nm - Loyola Aug 31, 10:45
lock her in the closet for a few hours. -- nm - groiny Aug 31, 10:44 2
- That's your solution to everything! -- nm - Shaun Aug 31, 10:46 1
  - why argue with success? -- nm - groiny Aug 31, 10:47
She doesn't respect your authority or discipline. Take charge of the situation. -- nm - Inigo Aug 31, 10:41 1
- exactly. -- nm - CQ Aug 31, 10:41
get an effin backbone, you idiot. -- nm - CQ Aug 31, 10:39
In all seriousness - a pop in the mouth when she's yelling like that will likely start to curb it. nm - Jim Aug 31, 10:37
I read this as "explosive raccoons." that would be bad also. -- nm - university of amanda jones Aug 31, 10:37 2
- "I am Groo -- nm - Dignan Aug 31, 10:40
- I think that was one of the weapons in Chris Brown's duffel bag -- nm - Beaker Aug 31, 10:39
hold her arms and let the younger kid pound her in the kidneys -- nm - Beaker Aug 31, 10:26 2
- that works better than no screen time or dessert? -- nm - shaolin fantastic Aug 31, 10:28 1
  - I mean I know I'd straighten the fuck out if I knew I wasn't getting dessert. -- nm - Shaun Aug 31, 10:39

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