bonus hax chat q: the saga of "Tara" and "Pat"
Posted by
mr monkey (aka chris)
Sep 16 '16, 11:41
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Q: Caught Between Friend and Her Ex
My best friend "Tara" dated a guy "Pat" for about six months after she had ended a seven year relationship. Pat fell hard for her, but when he began discussing moving in together and next steps, Tara realized that she didn't feel the same way and knew it was better to end earlier than lead him on. We are all in our late 20s. It's been about two months since they broke up and Pat is having a really hard time- he texts her incessantly with things like "you were the love of my life and now I feel empty" at all hours of the day. The problem is that my husband Eric and Pat really hit it off in those six months and Eric was really sad he was going to lose a potential great friend when they broke up. Eric moved to my hometown and doesn't have the his own social circle here. At first I thought it would be great if Eric and Pat still got together and Tara had said it was fine. But now I am so weirded out by Pat's inability to move on that I don't want him in my life whatsoever. I know that I am overly paranoid about domestic violence against women but I feel like I'm seeing red flags in how he's treating my best friend. He has not stopped by her house or shown up anywhere, just contact via texting. Still, at what point does this go on for me to say "Eric, I feel uncomfortable with you keeping Pat in your life?" Ideally I want my husband to cut him out without me saying anything but I think he feels sorry for Pat and doesn't view anything as threatening.
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