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STIS: Does this sentence have any punctuation errors?

Posted by Subversive (aka Subversive) May 18 '09, 08:08

"Even asses for, and alert authorities if it senses, identity fraud"

To me, that 2nd comma should not be there. Am I right?

Responses:

You are correct about the comma, but also that does not seem like a complete sentence. - con_carne May 18, 08:11 5
- It's from a sales brochure of my former company. I still do a little contract work for them and the president showed me the new brochure excitedly - Subversive May 18, 08:13 4
  - Marketing materials usually have fragments like that, so in that context one might work -- nm - con_carne May 18, 08:17 1
    - I put the whole paragraph below. -- nm - Subversive May 18, 08:17
  - that's a shame. if it's all like that, it must be a horror. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:15 1
    - my quickie rewrite: "It even checks for identity fraud and alerts authorities when necessary." -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:16
the main problem with that sentence is a hysterical typo. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:08 60
- The comma? Or something else? Enlighten me! :) -- nm - Subversive May 18, 08:10 58
  - look closely at the second word. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:10 57
    - Oh, that was my typo, it's correct in the publication I got it from. :) - Subversive May 18, 08:11 56
      - the whole sentence is totally awkward and needs more work than just removing the comma, IMO. - loosilu May 18, 08:12 47
        
        The entire paragraph, for context: - Subversive May 18, 08:16 46
        
        This guy needs to be introduced to semicolons. -- nm - Reagen May 18, 08:21 8
        
        and banned from ending sentences with prepositions. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:23 7
        
        You don't know what you speak of. -- nm - tee-woo-gee May 18, 08:25 6
        
        "you don't know of what you speak." is way more elegant. -- nm - mafic May 18, 08:26 3
        
        (or "you know not of what you speak.") -- nm - mafic May 18, 08:27 2
        
        *whoosh* -- nm - over your head May 18, 08:28 1
        
        no, I got it. I'm just saying there are better ways. -- nm - mafic May 18, 08:29
        
        who are you agreeing with? -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:26 1
        
        Noone is who I am agreeing with. -- nm - tee-woo-gee May 18, 08:27
        
        its is correct. given the context, your comma should be moved to after "alert". -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:20 31
        
        That doesn't seem right either. -- nm - Subversive May 18, 08:22 2
        
        we need mara. she'll back me up. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:22 1
        
        i hope not, for mara's sake. - TFox May 18, 08:24
        
        woah. woah. wicked no. -- nm - TFox May 18, 08:22 27
        
        wicked yes. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:22 26
        
        I sort of get why you would, but I'd never put on there. - Reagen May 18, 08:24 23
        
        I agree. The funniest thing about this whole thread is that there's a typo in virtually every post. - pmb May 18, 08:30 4
        
        You misspelled grammar on porpoise, didn't you? -- nm - tee-woo-gee May 18, 08:31 1
        
        Know. -- nm - pmb May 18, 08:32
        
        It's an Internet rule, I think. -- nm - Reagen May 18, 08:31
        
        I claim impairment from travel exhaustion. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:31
        
        Reagen is right! -- nm - mafic May 18, 08:25
        
        the fragment needs to be flushed down the crapper and replaced. I'm just saying, given the shit I'm working with, that's where it goes. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:25 16
        
        "even assess for and alert, authorities if it senses identity fraud"? - Reagen May 18, 08:27 14
        
        one might argue, correctly even, that between "alert" and "authorities" is the single most obvious and worst place to put a comma in the sentence. -- nm - TFox May 18, 08:28 1
        
        and one would be wrong. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:29
        
        no no no. "Assess for, and alert, authorities." Oh, I see the problem. I'm not moving it, I'm adding a second one. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:27 11
        
        but "authorities if it senses identity fraud" can't stand alone as a clause. - Reagen May 18, 08:30 4
        
        isn't that the same as my previously posted rewrite? -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:31 3
        
        maybe? I didn't see it. -- nm - Reagen May 18, 08:32 2
        
        here. not even in the IM! -- (link) - loosilu May 18, 08:33 [Backboard] 1
        
        Yes, the rewrites are better. I was meaning if you kept the order of the words the same. - Subversive May 18, 08:37
        
        and you are still wrong, because the thing doesn't assess for authorities. -- nm - TFox May 18, 08:29 5
        
        Correct. -- nm - pmb May 18, 08:31
        
        I ... crap. dammit. fuck fuck fuck. THe sentence still sucks! -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:29 3
        
        thank you. -- nm - TFox May 18, 08:32 2
        
        hate. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:34 1
        
        you'll do better next time. i still have hope for you. commas are really hard. - TFox May 18, 08:36
        
        nope. -- nm - TFox May 18, 08:26
        
        like, a million and a half no's. i will forge a no out of steel and award it to your answer. -- nm - TFox May 18, 08:23 1
        
        I will bury you with fluffy yeses until you suffocate. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:23
        
        its is correct! -- nm - mafic May 18, 08:17 4
        
        Is it? I thought it was signifying ownership? -- nm - Subversive May 18, 08:18 3
        
        in the case of ownership, "its" has no apostrophe. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:21
        
        it's = it is, its = belonging to it (or more than one it, I suppose). -- nm - mafic May 18, 08:20 1
        
        Oh, I always get that one wrong then. Doh! -- nm - Subversive May 18, 08:21
      - Extremely stilted, but not wrong. -- nm - TFox May 18, 08:11 7
        
        it has dangling prepositions! -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:12 6
        
        that's a punctuation error? - TFox May 18, 08:13 5
        
        actually yes. and then some. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:14 4
        
        to the point of the original question, however, that is an acceptable use of commas. -- nm - TFox May 18, 08:17 3
        
        no, it is not, if the sentence doesn't make sense. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:19 2
        
        *sigh* ok, except it is. you can put a period at the end of a shitty sentence, and it is still the right spot for a period. -- nm - TFox May 18, 08:21 1
        
        it is not the right spot for the comma in that sentence, smarty. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:21
- after that, it is kinda awkwardly stated. I don't like the part between the commas at all. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:09

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STIS: Does this sentence have any punctuation errors?

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