ST Alpha - "The entire paragraph, for context:" (Reading a Post)

SlickerTalk
Search Archives
The Leaderboard
The FAQ

Down to Post

Backboards:

Posts: 151

In response to "the whole sentence is totally awkward and needs more work than just removing the comma, IMO." by loosilu

The entire paragraph, for context:

Posted by Subversive (aka Subversive) May 18 '09, 08:16

"Imagine an automated service attendant that can intuit how you want to be responded to. One that can recognize your voice and unique intonation and greet you by name. Adjust its (sic) intonation to match the situation at hand. Understand foreign accents. Even assess for, and alert authorities if it senses, identity fraud."

They paid some marketing consultant big bucks for this crap, I think.

Responses:

This guy needs to be introduced to semicolons. -- nm - Reagen May 18, 08:21 8
- and banned from ending sentences with prepositions. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:23 7
  - You don't know what you speak of. -- nm - tee-woo-gee May 18, 08:25 6
    - "you don't know of what you speak." is way more elegant. -- nm - mafic May 18, 08:26 3
      - (or "you know not of what you speak.") -- nm - mafic May 18, 08:27 2
        
        *whoosh* -- nm - over your head May 18, 08:28 1
        
        no, I got it. I'm just saying there are better ways. -- nm - mafic May 18, 08:29
    - who are you agreeing with? -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:26 1
      - Noone is who I am agreeing with. -- nm - tee-woo-gee May 18, 08:27
its is correct. given the context, your comma should be moved to after "alert". -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:20 31
- That doesn't seem right either. -- nm - Subversive May 18, 08:22 2
  - we need mara. she'll back me up. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:22 1
    - i hope not, for mara's sake. - TFox May 18, 08:24
- woah. woah. wicked no. -- nm - TFox May 18, 08:22 27
  - wicked yes. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:22 26
    - I sort of get why you would, but I'd never put on there. - Reagen May 18, 08:24 23
      - I agree. The funniest thing about this whole thread is that there's a typo in virtually every post. - pmb May 18, 08:30 4
        
        You misspelled grammar on porpoise, didn't you? -- nm - tee-woo-gee May 18, 08:31 1
        
        Know. -- nm - pmb May 18, 08:32
        
        It's an Internet rule, I think. -- nm - Reagen May 18, 08:31
        
        I claim impairment from travel exhaustion. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:31
      - Reagen is right! -- nm - mafic May 18, 08:25
      - the fragment needs to be flushed down the crapper and replaced. I'm just saying, given the shit I'm working with, that's where it goes. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:25 16
        
        "even assess for and alert, authorities if it senses identity fraud"? - Reagen May 18, 08:27 14
        
        one might argue, correctly even, that between "alert" and "authorities" is the single most obvious and worst place to put a comma in the sentence. -- nm - TFox May 18, 08:28 1
        
        and one would be wrong. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:29
        
        no no no. "Assess for, and alert, authorities." Oh, I see the problem. I'm not moving it, I'm adding a second one. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:27 11
        
        but "authorities if it senses identity fraud" can't stand alone as a clause. - Reagen May 18, 08:30 4
        
        isn't that the same as my previously posted rewrite? -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:31 3
        
        maybe? I didn't see it. -- nm - Reagen May 18, 08:32 2
        
        here. not even in the IM! -- (link) - loosilu May 18, 08:33 [Backboard] 1
        
        Yes, the rewrites are better. I was meaning if you kept the order of the words the same. - Subversive May 18, 08:37
        
        and you are still wrong, because the thing doesn't assess for authorities. -- nm - TFox May 18, 08:29 5
        
        Correct. -- nm - pmb May 18, 08:31
        
        I ... crap. dammit. fuck fuck fuck. THe sentence still sucks! -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:29 3
        
        thank you. -- nm - TFox May 18, 08:32 2
        
        hate. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:34 1
        
        you'll do better next time. i still have hope for you. commas are really hard. - TFox May 18, 08:36
        
        nope. -- nm - TFox May 18, 08:26
    - like, a million and a half no's. i will forge a no out of steel and award it to your answer. -- nm - TFox May 18, 08:23 1
      - I will bury you with fluffy yeses until you suffocate. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:23
its is correct! -- nm - mafic May 18, 08:17 4
- Is it? I thought it was signifying ownership? -- nm - Subversive May 18, 08:18 3
  - in the case of ownership, "its" has no apostrophe. -- nm - loosilu May 18, 08:21
  - it's = it is, its = belonging to it (or more than one it, I suppose). -- nm - mafic May 18, 08:20 1
    - Oh, I always get that one wrong then. Doh! -- nm - Subversive May 18, 08:21

Post a message top

The entire paragraph, for context:

Replies are disabled on threads older than 7 days.