Thanks for the kind words on the BB. I got home from taking care of Jason's burial to find an e-mail from my mother's guardian.
Posted by
Covington (aka CovingtonCat)
Oct 23 '18, 09:58
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Some of you will recall that my mother is in a memory care center in Colorado. She's had dementia for close to 10 years as far as anyone can tell from the messed up records my step-father kept (who was in the early stages of dementia when he died).
This is the e-mail...
I hope you are well. I’m writing to let you know that over the last several weeks your Mom has experienced a slow, but steady decline. She is most unaware of her surroundings, has difficulty with simple phrases, is falling more frequently, and her confusion is more pronounced. We just stopped the caregiver outings because she is now difficult to get in and out of the car. The caregiver will continue visiting, though because your Mom does enjoy the one to one attention.
Your Mom is not imminently dying, but the changes she has experienced recently is concerning. So, I’ve asked the staff at Seven Lakes to continue keeping a close eye on her decline and they will let me know if and/or when they think that Hospice is appropriate.
I’ll keep you posted.
Well, that last sentence sure sounds like something is "imminent."
I've gone back and forth on this. Do I fly out now to see her one more time? Can I afford to? No. Previous commitments have ruled that out. If I drive do I take a chance my breathing issues won't flare up again like they did last visit? Can I really do that long drive again after swearing I'd never do it again after the last one?
People keep telling me I've done more than they would have done and that I shouldn't feel guilty for not being there more often or now. After some thought, this is my response to the guardian...
I knew this was coming but it’s still hard to hear, especially as I’m unable to pick up and get out there to see her.
I don’t remember if I told you I cut my last trip out there short because I was having trouble breathing – altitude plus forest fires plus bronchitis plus asthma. I retired a few months ago because of my health issues – a few years sooner than I would have otherwise, so I’m on a much-reduced income.
I am content that I had the opportunity to see her again after such a long estrangement. I have a few more happy memories, believe it or not. I’ll cherish the times she patted me on the cheek because I did some small thing for her. I’ll never forget the guy at the Fat Tire brewery complimenting her on her outfit (and I’m glad I have a picture of her from that visit in that outfit). My last memory of her will always be the attached photo. She thought she was hot shit, pardon my French. And she was.
I appreciate you keeping me informed. I trust you will make the appropriate decisions when necessary.
The photo I attached was one posted I here last year - the one where she looks like a psychedelic Harpo Marx.
I likely won't go out for the funeral, either. There may be a few old friends who see the obituary who show up for the service (only 2 made it to my step-father's). Her attorney has stored some stuff - I'm not sure what - that he'll turn over to me at some point. I don't even know if I want any of that now. It's just stuff. Better anything valuable get sold and be given to her beneficiaries - a veterinary school and an animal shelter.
You know how bad news comes in 3's? Please, no more bad news until after my cruise, thank you very much.
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