Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales is a fucking slog. You feel every one of those 129 minutes.
Posted by
Mop (aka rburriel)
Nov 4 '19, 09:25
|
Don't get me wrong. It's exactly what a Pirates of the Caribbean movie is expected to me. But each of the set pieces feels longer and more drawn out than it should. Never mind that they're incredulous. That's what they should be. But it's just exhausting. And, what's more, it makes the slow parts all the more boring because you get into this adrenaline high and then you have to come down for a couple of sentences of dialogue before we go at it again.
It's mostly like the big whirlpool scene in the 3rd movie for almost 2 hours, with a bit of the boring mermaid scenes from the 4th movie tossed in to catch your breath.
The callbacks are actually the only saving grace of the whole thing, although... WTF... they didn't have enough money to pay Kiera Knightley for a single line of dialogue?!
The CG was also lacking. The ghosts look like they were stenciled onto the film (which isn't actually a thing these days). Just sloppy.
And the saddest part was my hero Paul McCartney in a pointless cameo.
|
Responses:
|
