COVID Breakup (Long, but, hey). My friend (A) is having trouble with his boyfriend (D). They've been dating officially one year almost exactly. -- (edited)
Posted by
JackDawson (aka dawson)
Mar 18 '20, 07:53
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A's dad died about two years ago at a relatively young age of an anuerysm. Then, A's mom go lung cancer late last year and died in January, he's been having a hard time, though he was not close with his parents.
Important to the story, A has a very large dog, so he cannot move around/travel easily with the dog, and/or without great expense for the dog. A is a corporate lawyer and makes hundreds of thousands of dollars a year.
A's boyfriend, D, is one of those stereotypical kid of uber rich parents you read about, has sort of a job here or there, is sober (family problems), spends most of his time posting videos about himself on instagram and like worrying about whether cyrillian is this season's new blue or what? (He's a nice guy, certainly an improvement over A's last boyfriend ,the insane one who bashed his head in with the champagne bottle on their anniversary!!). D's mom is going through a rough divorce, and is one of those nagging rich women who puts a lot of psychological torture/pressure on her otherwise privileged ex-alcoholic kid.
The thing is, A, really really really really really (multiply times 10,000) wants a boyfriend. All of our friends are coupled up/cooped up. Prior to head basher, he's never had one and is my age (38, fuck you ty). And, with parents gone, siblings with kid, you can imagine.
Anyway. When A's mom died in January, D did not immediately offer to travel to the funeral with A, saying his grandma had had hip surgery two weeks ago and had to finally visit her. D clearly does not like to be inconvenienced, his parents fly him first class when/where he wants kind of lifestyle. I was all *eyebrow raise* about this but was mum of course. Our lesbian friend, meanwhile, went to D's apartment and drove him with her to the airport to the funeral, whereafter, she reports, he behaved grandly in helping A clear out his mother's stuff.
Fast-forward to coronavirus and D decided to leave town on Sunday to "be with his mom," who lives in a private resort in Hawaii. D's mom, he said, has been sick and nagging and he wants to go "help her out."
D asks A if it's OK for him to go, A says yes.
D goes to Hawaii and resumes his life of posting videos of himself on Instagram wondering about fashion, his new mustache, his new see through shirt. (Now they're from the beach and sipping non alcoholic beverages). D's mom tests out fine, but he tells A he needs to be there for his mom because "she doesn't knwo how to treat herself" so she needs someone to "take her credit card and like go buy her nice new bedding at the department store."
So, D remains in Hawaii for now. A is furious, he wants to "weather the crisis with someone."
D invites him to come over. A can't/won't leave the huge dog.
D says he will be back soon, but not sure when.
A is livid and breaks up.
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I'm confused.
On the one hand, A's pressure is probably a little too much? They've been dating for a year and that is sort of in a grey area of how committed people may be at that point? Moreover, D wants him with him but A can't because of the dog.
On the other hand, D's pattern of behavior/personality is clear.
Your advice please!
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