Alex Petri: The nine circles of Melania Trump’s Christmas decorations
Posted by
prayformojo (aka mayhem)
Dec 2 '20, 11:21
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Midway upon the journey of my life, I found myself in the midst of a dark and festive wood. And when I sought to escape the wood and climb away, toward 2021, and the new administration I could see gleaming just on the horizon. And there appeared a figure before me, whose voice seemed rusty from long silence.
“Virgil?” I said.
“Melania Trump,” the figure said. “Follow me, and I will guide you among these ominous trees, through a place where you will hear desperate lamentations and see ancient, disconsolate spirits in torment. Would you like a tour of the White House Christmas decorations?”
And Melania led me through a portal, over which was emblazoned “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here,” festively on a nice little garland.
“Here is the first circle of decorations,” she said, “where those who did not believe or give enough *bleeps* about the Christmas stuff are forced to lead tours for eternity,” and she flashed me a sickly white grin.
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