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So I guess I can tell this (sad) story now.

Posted by Tim (aka othertim) Feb 7 '22, 04:34
About a year ago I got a match on Bumble (a considerably less trashy Tinder). I was subscribed at the time so that lets you see who swiped right. She seemed interesting so I also swiped. An exchange of messages occurred over the next few weeks. We even talked on the phone a few times through the app (which admittedly is a neat feature if you don't want to give out your number) but eventually numbers were exchanged and the texts and occasional chats continued through the year. I deleted Bumble (and also Hinge) off my phone.

She didn't live locally, which I knew upon accepting the match. But she was funny, incredibly interesting and pretty cute. For reasons associated with her job, she wound end up being in NYC for a few days last fall. The stars happened to align and I managed an extremely rare weekday off when she'd be there, so I took the train into the city, which I'd never done by myself before. (You may recall me asking about how to get to a particular neighborhood via the subway but she agreed to meet me at Grand Central Terminal so it wasn't necessary.) We had lunch there and walked around the city for an hour or so and had a lot of fun. There was a quick kiss as we departed and I got on the train back home.

I really, really liked her, you guys. I said thanks for taking a chance on me, I think she's amazing and I'm sorry that we started talking right after work became ridiculous for me. (mid-February 2021 we picked up the local supermarket's pharmacy, and then staffing issues plagued us through the rest of the year. Turns out I averaged working 44 hours a week in 2021, which feels low, to be honest.)

The texts and chats continued and I floated the idea of going to see her when things got a little better for me workwise in December when most of my staff was out of school and had additional availability.

Unfortunately, December was the busy time of year for her because she actually owns a small business that has multiple locations in Detroit (where she lives) and the holiday season is of course the busiest time of year for her. I said would early January work maybe? She said it might. I managed to get the second week of January off because after that everyone went back to school and there wouldn't be coverage), and was prepared to take a trip if plans worked out.

She made a really crappy year for me a lot better and I was getting excited for what the new year would bring. And I told her that.

But for some reason in late December, the texts started slowing down. I mean, they weren't daily anyway, but I'm okay with that. She apologized for not replying for a couple days, but I said no worries and we can talk later. We last spoke very briefly on New Year's Eve, when she said she wasn't feeling well.

1/4: Text. No reply.
1/7: Text, no reply. I also call her (around the times we'd usually end up talking), no answer.

My last text: Hi (name), I hope you're doing okay. Sorry for calling. I just...I'm sorry.

-----

I don't understand it. I'm sorry this story sounded very hopeful to start and ends with a crushing ending like this but it's pretty much the story of my life at this point. (She hasn't unfriended me on Facebook, but the last comment I made a couple weeks ago was not liked or replied to)

The only person I'd told about her was WoWgirl and she was super happy for me and also crushed when I told her that she'd stopped replying to me. I don't know if it was something I did, or if I just turned out to be too boring for her, but we had a lot of really good talks even though my life in 2021 felt like it consisted of only working.

I've been really down about this since the start of the year. The week off I had I did basically nothing but sit home and play games. (I mean, not that there was anywhere I could really go ANYWAY but it was worse than usual for me.) I don't know if I can go back to the dating apps again and if I do, it won't be for a while.

So yeah, that's all.

tl;dr: met someone on dating app. after 11 months of communication, I was ghosted.

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