ST Alpha - "ST advice needed: If I found out that a former friend of my parents died and who my mother had an affair with over 40 years ago, should I tell them? " (Reading a Post)

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ST advice needed: If I found out that a former friend of my parents died and who my mother had an affair with over 40 years ago, should I tell them?

Posted by Walt_Disney (aka Walt_Disney) Jun 3 '22, 08:26

I discovered an obituary on-line this morning for him and I always like the guy. My parents and the friend shared a hobby for a long time.

The obit is public but my mom is not computer savy and I dont think my dad would really be interested considering what happened.

Responses:

Thanks for everyones thoughts....there are a few points that you mentioned I had not fully thought out. :) Very much appreciated. -- nm - Walt_Disney Jun 3, 09:20
No -- nm - Spawn Jun 3, 08:53
maybe tell her separately, she can decide if it makes sense to tell your dad. -- nm - Andie Jun 3, 08:38 6
- As a child, if you can protect your parents from unnecessary pain, you do it. Nothing will be gained from either of them learning the news. - Spawn Jun 3, 09:12 5
  - sheesh - mud Jun 3, 09:34
  - I get that, but if someone from your past died, wouldn't you rather know? - Andie Jun 3, 09:15 3
    - Yes, but not if the 40 years ago hurt my SO. -- nm - Spawn Jun 3, 09:30 1
      - which is why i suggested he just tell his mother. - Andie Jun 3, 09:34
    - not if it has the potential to open old wounds/issues -- nm - decline Jun 3, 09:29
Is she going to find out otherwise? -- nm - spamlet Jun 3, 08:28 3
- Not likely. I only found out by Googling something about the hobby recently and it made me think of the friend and I Googled and found out. - Walt_Disney Jun 3, 08:49 2
  - I'd probably just let it lie -- nm - decline Jun 3, 08:51 1
    - This. If it was the difference in potentially going to the funeral I’d feel differently. But in this case it’s a sleeping dog. -- nm - spamlet Jun 3, 08:52
sure -- nm - mud Jun 3, 08:28
probably -- nm - St. Epiphany Jun 3, 08:28
I think so, yeah. (NM) - Marlowe Jun 3, 08:27

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ST advice needed: If I found out that a former friend of my parents died and who my mother had an affair with over 40 years ago, should I tell them?

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