ST Overshare: Not sure how I feel about this, but learned something about my partner's aunt yesterday.
Posted by
colin (aka colinski)
Sep 1 '22, 11:10
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My partner's mom is the last one living of her family. Her sister died recently, very suddenly. Her sister was always the black sheep. She got together with a guy who was separated from her wife, and as a result the "christian" part of the family refused to speak to her for a decade, until they got legally married, then acted like all was good.
When she was 19, she got pregnant. She was living in Florida at the time. Her family shipped her up to Atlanta, where she stayed with her older sister and brother in law, stayed hidden, and had the baby. Her brother in law arranged for a "private adoption". Both her sisters were there, they took the baby as soon as she was born, her birth mother never got to hold her.
The arrangement was that the adopted child could contact her mother if she so chose, but birth mother had no right to reach out. At this point, nobody even knows WHO to reach out to since it was a... "private adoption".
This all came up because someone reached out to my partner's sister on ancestry.com and said due to DNA, we seem to be related. Not sure who it is, but it's now possible that we could be in contact with the adopted child.
We'd like to find out more, but the brother in law is a real piece of shit. He's a pastor, leader at a christian college, and has a son in law in prison for sexually assaulting a child and possession of child porn that he's insisted is innocent despite all evidence (that's a whole other thing). So I don't think he's reliable and if the adoption is as sketchy as it sounds, he's probably going to lie about it.
Is there anything we can do? We know the birth year, the hospital, and that's about it. No way of even knowing if the now adult knows she is adopted.
My partner is kinda pissed. She understands why it wasn't talked about while her aunt was alive, but after she is gone, there's nobody left to keep secret. I feel horrible.. what a weight to carry your entire life and know you can't talk about with your judgey family.
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