You know how getting old sucks balls? Sometimes it gives you crazy surprises that are good. -- (edited)
Posted by
loosilu (aka loosilu2)
Jul 23 '23, 19:10
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During the last year I got lazy about coloring my hair. It wasn't a decision to stop; I kept intending to do it, and putting it off for no reason. The roots started coming in white and I HATED it. I have been dyeing my hair various shades of light red for over 25 years, and like many women was conditioned to think gray was gross. I have seen some redheads going gray and was not fond of the look, so I wanted to avoid it. I did tell myself that eventually I would be all white, and I would suck it up and EMBRACE it. I've been trying to psych myself up for it for years.
Back in March I met up with my two BFFs Siobhan and Marcy for lunch, and my hair was NASTY. Roots grown out for at least 3 inches, hadn't washed it in over 2 weeks, it was full of tangles, and I literally rolled out of bed and slapped some extra conditioner on it. I was so self conscious that the next day, I was composing a message to them apologizing for the state of my hair. And then before I could send it, they both told me my hair looked GREAT. I was super confused and thought they must have been being supportive about the disgusting mess on my head.
Over the next few months I saw a couple of people looking at it, and thought, oh shit, it's bad. Before COVID, when I was commuting to Anacostia, and my roots were showing, the young men on the bus would give me their seats. They were so polite and sweet, their moms raised them right, but ouch.
Two weeks ago I met up with my cousin Emily and her husband Ram in DC for dinner. I got to the hotel lobby and he was walking up, and got a surprised look on his face. He said something like, Oh wow, I didn't realize that was you, your hair. And I thought FUCK it must be really bad.
This past week I went up to Boston to visit my Dad and my sister's family. My two other brothers were also there. All 7 kids are in their teens or in college. My brother's two daughters are always brutally honest with me about my hair. They hated when I had the white roots. So I asked them what they thought of it and if I should keep it. They both immediately said YES KEEP IT.
I asked my sister what she thought of it, and she liked it, but I got the impression she thought I bleached it. I said "Liz. This is my NATURAL COLOR." She was like "WHAT?" and immediately dove onto my head to look for roots, of course there are none. She said, "But it can't be! you're not blonde!"
You're dying to know by now, right? what color is it? It's extremely pale blonde, no dark roots at all. It's not a flat blonde, it is sparkly. After all of that angst about going gray, all of that fretting about dyeing it red. This is BETTER than before it started going gray.
I am still freaked out to see it. There is no ambiguity, it is BLONDE. Like, baby blonde. My sister couldn't believe it was real. It's not flat, it has many streaks of light blonde, red, and white. It kind of glows, like pearls? That's what Marcy said. I can see the sparkle but still keep freaking out at how white it is.
For the last few years I've had art block and have been unable to go see my art friends because I feel ashamed. But now, I'm actually trying to plan how to show up and shock them,, because they will freak out.
Meanwhile, I have no idea what to do with it, in terms of styling. And I also don't know how to be a blonde, because it defintely feels different than being a redhead. People are looking at me differently.
I haven't been able to get a photo that catches how freaky it looks, but hopefully this gives an idea. I literally had just rolled out of bed, no product.
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