boston.com Love Letter: He wants to continue dating other women...
Posted by
Diva (aka Diva)
Jul 27 '09, 07:16
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Today�s letter is from a woman dating a guy who wants to date other women. Let�s get it going.
Q: Meredith, I need your help. I have been dating a terrific guy now for over four months. We are both divorced and have been in several relationships since returning to �single� status. We spend most of our free time together -- about 5 days a week. Things are great -- we are into the same things, have similar tastes, love to travel together, etc. I truly feel we are a great match, and if asked, I am sure he would agree. I am close with his family at this point, and have met most of his circle of friends. Currently we are planning another vacation getaway.
The challenge is that for all the time we do spend together, he still insists on dating other women about once a week. This seems so odd to me, given the fact that we do spend most of our week together. In a nutshell, when we have discussed an exclusive dating relationship, he has basically stated that in the past he has just jumped into serious relationships only to come to the realization that he truly didn't love the women he was in the relationship with at the time. He wants to avoid this from happening again, which is why he continues to date and �take things slow.� He also acknowledges that at this point he should be giving the status of our relationship more thought, and is always apologetic that he has not paid more attention and been more communicative.
Now, I am not the type of person to ever give someone I care about deeply an ultimatum. It is not my style, and I feel that nags and threats accomplish nothing. However, don't you think that four months of serious dating should at least start to hint at some level of commitment? How do I balance being patient with being just a plain fool?? Plus, do I go on another vacation with someone who will only be back on the dating scene as soon as the plane lands back at Logan?
-- Ann, Boston
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