Pitch - Aliens Invade Earth Comedy
Posted by
rollo
Jul 21 '24, 09:08
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Aliens approach earth with a fiendish plan. These aliens are vaguely insectoid humanoids and have some of the traits of insects, including relatively short lives. Over the course of their journey to earth countless generations have been born - there's comedy to be mined here, as the aliens are in a constant race against time to train the next generation to be ready to take over before they die. Think lifespan in terms of days or weeks, not longer than say 45 days. Long enough so it's not just a constant frenzy, short enough so you get some turnover. Over the course of the movie the aliens should probably go through 3 generations (stunt casting opportunity). They mature in like 2 days and live another month as an adult, say.
These aliens can't breathe earth's atmosphere. But they have special DNA or whatever that allow them to mate with humans. The sperm of a human male can inseminate an egg (laid like a chicken, not internal) provided by a female alien with what is sure to be great comedic intensity from Kate McKinnon. The resulting offspring will look exactly like a human, as all of the alien's genetics are recessive, except for their superior intellect. So they are essentially making a clone, but one that is half human - the meat half - and half alien (intellect, soul, whatever) and acts to advance the alien's objectives. By the way this allows the lead actor to play his own son, but as an alien.
The aliens need sperm. But not just any sperm. If they are going to mate with humans they should obviously pick the one with the best DNA. The aliens obviously have to break into a sperm bank on earth to compare samples on their fancy alien equipment to identify the male specimen with the best DNA. Luckily they have hilariously complicated SCUBA-like gear they can strap into and take a space dinghy for a stealth mission to earth to do exactly that.
They identify Male Lead, let's say Chris Pratt. He's good looking enough to be believable as an ideal but he has comedy chops. So him or someone like him. Hooray! The aliens have their donor. He's now a happy family man with a wife and kids, but back in college he donated a few times for beer money (flashback potential).
So the aliens are confident in their plan (which is to infiltrate the earth with Chris Pratt clones that are actually aliens, and take over from there. The Chris Pratt clones can mate with earth women, which will produce lots of offspring, fighters and such and also female hybrids to further spread the new alien DNA - all part of the plan. Alien hybrids mature in like 3 days.) but need to run 1 test first to prove their technology works. The alien's technology is constantly wonky, a source of comedy.
So the next stage of their plan is to infect Chris Pratt with an alien virus. The sole effect of this virus is to make Chris Pratt want to masturbate constantly, and in hilarious places and contexts. The aliens collect the discarded DNA, for the test and also to create a stockpile to pair with their stockpile of female alien eggs.
These aliens are in SCUBA getup, don't forget, they can't breath air. They have different suits for day missions due to their need to blend in. Based on the knowledge they've gleaned from monitoring earth's transmissions for the past 25 years and the intensity of these day missions, their suits naturally look like Ethan Hunt. Like those blow up dinosaurs everyone is running around in, but Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt. Super fake, but plausible. And they have to go sneaking up M:I style on Chris Pratt's car, fast food bathrooms, etc. for to make their collections.
Meanwhile Chris Pratt's life is falling apart because he keeps getting caught masturbating in hilarious ways and thusly loses his job, his wife, alienates all his friends, etc. This takes about 3 days, enough time for the test clone to mature.
Now at his lowest, Chris Pratt is wandering the streets of San Francisco or Central Park, whatever, and stumbles on Alien Chris Pratt taking his first earth walk to prove he can breath the air. Alien Chris Pratt is communicating back to the mothership during this test and thusly spills the beans on most of the plan for earthly Chris Pratt to overhear.
Chris Pratt now runs to his oldest and dearest friend, the last of his friends to drop him, to solicit his help to foil the alien's plan.
Then Chris Pratt, Fred Armisen, and a bunch of their hilarious friends do exactly that.
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