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Hey guys. So, a friend is having bottom surgery today (m to f) and I am struggling with feelings.

Posted by loosilu (aka loosilu2) Aug 29 '24, 08:28

I think I'm a horrible person and a horrible friend, because I cannot deny I really wish she wasn't doing this. The reason why I wish that is because she didn't do any therapy, like, at all, in the 5 years leading up to this. She "didn't need it." Except, she really, really did and still does.
The feelings are a me problem, not a her problem. It's only my opinion and it's not my life. So the first struggle is to get over that.
As a friend, I want to be supportive, because that's the right thing, and that's what matters. That's the second struggle. If anyone has advice or thoughts about how to be supportive, I'm greatly appreciative. I worry that my feelings will show through and will cause more harm than good.

Responses:

At least you are using "she" so you are halfway there already. -- nm - zeitgeist Aug 29, 10:50
My thoughts on the subject - Fuzzy Aug 29, 09:39
If it's me, I would think of my friend as someone to whom I extend some forgiveness. - con_carne Aug 29, 09:19 2
- This is great advice. Very introspective -- nm - Epiphany Aug 29, 09:36
- Thanks for this. -- (edited) - loosilu Aug 29, 09:24
I don't think you're that far off of where you need to be (more) - Turd Ferguson Aug 29, 08:57 3
- I mean, I've done it, and I dont' think it's going to happen. - loosilu Aug 29, 09:21 2
  - It's rough to be on the outside looking in when the answer is so obvious and the other person just doesn't or won't see it. nm - Turd Ferguson Aug 29, 09:24 1
    - Thank you, that helps. -- nm - loosilu Aug 29, 09:25
Are they really happy about this? Focus on that. Their happiness. -- nm - Andie Aug 29, 08:32 3
- Yeah, so that's the thing. -- (edited) - loosilu Aug 29, 08:42 2
  - that's complicated, for sure, but i think you are mostly there. You have concern, but you also acknowledge it's not your call. Easier said then done - Andie Aug 29, 08:53 1
    - That helps some, thank you. -- nm - loosilu Aug 29, 08:56

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Hey guys. So, a friend is having bottom surgery today (m to f) and I am struggling with feelings.

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