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*saunters in stage left dressed like Raymond Smith from The Gentlemen, softly whistling a jaunty little tune*

*and carrying a wooden axe handle slung over his shoulder*



*stops to answer his phone*

"Yes, thank you. Let's confirm that one: Delta Flight 1203 to San Antonio through Salt Lake City."

*smooths his tie and pocket square*

"No, lodging won't be necessary, just a rental car. An Audi sedan if available. Just popping in to visit my niece and her kid while they are at the hospital."

*sets the axe handle down and leans it against his thigh and pulls out a handkerchief*

"Oh, they're fine. This is follow up appointment with the kid's pediatrician."

*cleans his glasses carefully and tucks the handkerchief in his front pants pocket*

"Why am I going down there?"

*picks up the axe handle again, rotating it slightly as he inspects it*

"Well, I want to check in on them, that's all."

*rubs his thumb along the ridge at one end as if polishing a chalked pool cue*

"And if the opportunity presents itself, I may have a little chat with some folks about whether racial profiling is an appropriate part of a hospital's admission procedures."

*slings the axe handle over his should again*

"Nope, no play here. No angle."

*exits stage right, his voice fading away*

"I'm not a miracle worker. I'm a janitor."




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