ST Alpha - "Ugh - she clearly wants to do what she wants to do regardless of how you feel about it." (Reading a Post)

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In response to "how am i supposed to trust her when she doesn't even follow through on her agreements?" by tRuMan

Ugh - she clearly wants to do what she wants to do regardless of how you feel about it.

Posted by Epiphany (aka Epiphany) Sep 10 '08, 11:00

sorry - this has got to be the toughest thing ever.

Not sure you have much of a point right now. If she is not going to uphold to agreements, make sure you cover your ASS - I mean cancel those credit cards right freakin NOW. seriously - that is where real trouble starts and it takes years to undo. She is not thinking rationally now -she wants out - how is she going to pay for it ( she may feel entitled).

I am only trying to help you.

Responses:

And inventory everything, ideally with photos and/or record of purchase, if the material stuff matters at all. -- nm - Beryllium Sep 10, 11:02 23
- we wrote up a list last night, and even signed in showing our agreement on the items. -- nm - tRuMan Sep 10, 11:03 22
  - and she violated the list already? -- nm - Beryllium Sep 10, 11:04 21
    - it appears so yes. -- nm - tRuMan Sep 10, 11:07 20
      - Then my advice would be to drop in to hardcore evidence-gathering mode. Gather what evidence you can to defend yourself and get important stuff back. -- nm - Beryllium Sep 10, 11:08 19
        
        the only thing I am apphrehensive about her taking was a box of nicknacks that we have collected from vacations - tRuMan Sep 10, 11:10 18
        
        you two are on two different mental levels right now - Epiphany Sep 10, 11:12 16
        
        nods -- nm - tRuMan Sep 10, 11:16
        
        ^-- listen to epiphany more than you listen to me. I have zero experience with this sort of thing, except .. - Beryllium Sep 10, 11:15 14
        
        there are people here who have been through it. It's remarkable how it normally takes the same course -- nm - Epiphany Sep 10, 11:19 13
        
        And it's really sad how many women seem to be so adept at twisting the system to totally fuck over their ex-husbands. - Beryllium Sep 10, 11:25 12
        
        That was not my experience. It depends on the people involved. -- nm - pmb Sep 10, 15:52
        
        yeah, not really a cool generalization. for one, the women often end up getting the kids and need the financial support - kare Sep 10, 13:02 5
        
        Indeed. My mom got the kids, my dad ended up paying some child support, and that situation went rather well. - Beryllium Sep 10, 13:23 4
        
        sorry you had to go through that. :( -- nm - kare Sep 10, 13:30 1
        
        thanks ... the generalization that kicked all this off is just a dramatization of it, really ... - Beryllium Sep 10, 13:59
        
        (And the bias I drew from it, used in the generalization above, is because the exes were doing the wringing and torturing) -- nm - Beryllium Sep 10, 13:24 1
        
        ... and he made it through all that, only to then die of cancer. So ... yeah. -- nm - Beryllium Sep 10, 13:25
        
        I've seen it go both ways. People can be so mean to the very people they vowed to love their entire life - Epiphany Sep 10, 11:28
        
        thank god for prenups. -- nm - Remlik Sep 10, 11:27 3
        
        i believe in prenups, i've decided. -- nm - kare Sep 10, 13:02
        
        no prenup here -- nm - tRuMan Sep 10, 11:27 1
        
        well protect yourself as best you can. -- nm - Remlik Sep 10, 11:38
        
        Hopefully you haven't heard the A-word yet. - Beryllium Sep 10, 11:12
that's tough to hear but probably sound advice. I feel for you - zork Sep 10, 11:02 5
- It is almost a habit that people get into - they say it and don't mean it - Epiphany Sep 10, 11:06 4
  - honestly, I have used the i'm leaving bit - tRuMan Sep 10, 11:07 1
    - people do - most people do. I had it explained to me - cause I never said it - Epiphany Sep 10, 11:11
  - no habit, nor constant. not often at all and not without any conviction. - zork Sep 10, 11:07 1
    - No couple is blithely skating through life. - Epiphany Sep 10, 11:14
i know. she still owes me the cards and the checkbook -- nm - tRuMan Sep 10, 11:01 5
- omg - truman, seriously - get them today. Especially if she is taking stuff out of the house. - Epiphany Sep 10, 11:02 4
  - better yet. Cancel them and change the locks. -- nm - Remlik Sep 10, 11:04 3
    - I hate this because I with Remlik didn't go through it, and that tru isn't having this happen - but listen to Pete on the credit cards -- nm - crash davis Sep 10, 11:07 2
      - I can't stress that enough, hopefully your Ex (tru) isn't like that. But call the comapny and suspend the credit cards. -- nm - Remlik Sep 10, 11:12
      - wish, not with -- nm - crash davis Sep 10, 11:08

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Ugh - she clearly wants to do what she wants to do regardless of how you feel about it.

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