the writeup at sellout.woot is pretty funny today
Posted by
decline (aka Decline)
Oct 22 '09, 07:11
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Drive Down Memory Memorial Parkway
Sure, I could download 2008 maps from Magellan. But me and my Magellan RoadMate 3000T prefer to remember America as it used to be back in 2005.
It was a simpler time. A more innocent time. A time when tireless, dedicated civil servants like Michael Brown inspired a nation. A time when gay cowboys boldly stepped out of the drag club and into the cineplex. A time when the music of Live 8 filled the world with hope for an end to� uh, whatever Live 8 was supposed to be ending. We thought those nights would never end. And we thought those LiveStrong bracelets would last forever.
Well, that world is gone � everywhere but inside my Magellan RoadMate 3000T. Its outdated maps capture an in-depth portrait of that bygone 2005 America, one street, road, highway, or industrial access court at a time. Remember when that A&T store was a Cingular store? Remember when that Whole Foods was a Wild Oats? Remember how nice that car dealership looked before it shut down and the crackheads and the rats moved in? You will, as you tumble through the 3.5� touchscreen into a forgotten age. Hear those turn-by-turn voice prompts? That�s the voice of the past, calling out to you through the ages.
Of course, there are GPS units out there that are easier to use. The control panel isn�t very well-marked. You could pay eighty bucks for updated maps, if you�re some kind of accuracy freak. But that�s missing the point. It�s not supposed to be easy. Things weren�t always easy in 2005. But I like to think it�s a little more satisfying to reach your destination without updated maps, the way the pioneers did.
Now, if anybody needs me, I�ll be cruising the ancient blacktops of 2005. To find me, just listen and follow the strains of my all-time �05 jam, playing on an SD card inserted into my Magellan RoadMate 3000T: �This (bleep) is bananas, B-A-N-ANAS�� Remember when music really had something to say?
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