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boston.com Love Letter: Got Drunk at an Office Holiday Party

Posted by Diva (aka Diva) Dec 14 '09, 12:32

I had a work holiday party last week and then a date after wards. This was our seventh date and everything was going perfectly (no red flags and wonderful chemistry). I showed up to the date unintentionally drunk and he was not impressed. We went to dinner and out to the movies. I am very embarrassed because I fell asleep at the movies and then was talking loudly to the cab driver.

He drove me home didn't say one word (20 minute ride). Then I couldn't find my keys. He came out of the car and said, "He really likes me but ...� I don't remember or he mumbled something ... said he would call me in a couple of days, then he left.

The next morning I woke up in absolute horror. I have scenes in my head�horrible because they�re real, and they�re of me behaving like a jerk in the taxi, talking Spanish to a Haitian cab driver, being too dumb (or numb) to see the insult, or be sensitive to him cringing beside me. I remembering ignoring him, the guy who I was there for, who, before the drinks took away my senses, filled them with joy and anticipation.

It was supposed to be a good night. An office party, a date�what could go bad? Looking back on it, I can�t believe that that at this point in my life (I'm 28 and so is he), I could succumb to peer pressure, ignore that for years now I�ve never had more than two drinks in an evening and have tried never to drink on an empty stomach. But the free drink tickets kept arriving in the hands of my office mates, whom I love, and of course there comes a point when judgment is, as they say, impaired. He got to witness it.

The next morning I wrote out an apology letter that was to the point and heartfelt without trying to defend myself. I had many of my close friends critique it.

He wrote back thanked me for the apology and said that he unfortunately didn't think we should see each other again. He then said I was beautiful, intelligent, and interesting. Saying it is a shame.

I'm in grad school and I work for a professor who is a non-narrative fiction writer. I got the email from my guy while I was working with the professor. My professor felt so bad and wanted to help so he said that he would write him back. Since I was in a state of shock, the professor took the reigns and we composed a beautiful letter to the guy. The letter consists of a well written apology about how badly I felt and how I would love to have a chance to fix it. A bit Jane Austin/ Wuthering Heights, but I believed what it said, it before email him.

That was nine days ago and no word from him.

I agree my actions were unacceptable, but I want to salvage our relationship even though we had just been dating for a month. I went to the restaurant (he took me to that night) and the movie and bought him gift cards, but I'm not sure if mailing them to him would be a good move. I need some advice please let me know what I should do. He is worth it.

� That Drunk Girl From The Christmas Party, Somerville

Diva sez: Just how drunk were you?

Responses:

also, what the crap is "non-narrative fiction"? -- nm - Max Dec 14, 12:42
yeah, that ain't salvageable. -- nm - mafic Dec 14, 12:41
7th? aren't you pretty much a couple and stop counting by 4 or 5? -- nm - Max Dec 14, 12:40 1
- I'm surprised he didn't tap her once and then run -- nm - oblique Dec 14, 12:41
Drama much? -- nm - con_carne Dec 14, 12:40
Sounds like he's using it as his excuse to get out of the relationship. If he liked her enough he'd be accepting the apology. The "he's just not that - Loyola Dec 14, 12:39
[deleted] 4
- Do you speak Spanish to Haitian taxi drivers too? -- nm - oblique Dec 14, 12:41 3
  - [deleted]
  - Be fair: Jack speaks spanish to *everybody*. (nm) - musubi Dec 14, 12:42 1
    - YSMM -- nm - Beryllium Dec 14, 12:42
Lost. Cause. -- nm - Spawn Dec 14, 12:38
"unintentionally drunk" and "the free drink tickets kept arriving" clearly do not mix. -- nm - Shaun Dec 14, 12:36
[deleted]
Wait, so she wrote a letter, got back "thanks, but see ya" and then wrote another letter with the help of a professor? - oblique Dec 14, 12:36 1
- But if her kindergarten classmates still love her, why can't this dude? - Inigo Dec 14, 12:39
Why so drunk at an office party? -- nm - Hotkiss Dec 14, 12:36 9
- Free drinks + no self control = drunk chick -- nm - oblique Dec 14, 12:37 8
  - At a bar/club, sure, but I have to wonder what her professional peers saw too -- nm - Hotkiss Dec 14, 12:38 7
    - Wait. What you're taking away from this is that the *setting* was wrong? (nm) - musubi Dec 14, 12:39
    - Our holiday parties annually have people (mostly younger people) getting wrecked. - Will Hunting Dec 14, 12:39 5
      - "So how is the new... woah. I really wanna fuck that girl right there." -- nm - TFox's old boss, 30 minutes into open bar Dec 14, 12:40 4
        
        I'll tell you, in that state, you don't want to find out the object of your office fantasy is married. Watching my friend have this happen to her - Will Hunting Dec 14, 12:42 3
        
        Who did this? -- nm - kelly Dec 14, 12:42 2
        
        Girl Jamie about 7 years ago. -- nm - Will Hunting Dec 14, 12:43 1
        
        Oh. - kelly Dec 14, 12:44
Sounds like that bridge is burned. Learn from it and move on. (nm) - musubi Dec 14, 12:35
"I know he told me directly eight times, but sometimes the ninth time is the charm, right? Should I cut the head off his cat to prove my love is real? -- nm - TFox Dec 14, 12:34 1
- Yeah, she'll look even crazier the more she presses the issue. -- nm - Inigo Dec 14, 12:37
Put it in the lessons learned file...this guy is gone. - Will Hunting Dec 14, 12:34 1
- yeah. that rings a giant "yikes" bell. -- nm - Beryllium Dec 14, 12:36
Heh - forget it, and next time don't schedule a date right after your office party -- nm - Roger More Dec 14, 12:34

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boston.com Love Letter: Got Drunk at an Office Holiday Party

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