I like my pcp to be warmish, but I don't need that from specialists.
it's often up to the patient, in any case, to demand (nicely) what they need - questions asked, info. about specifics, etc.
doctors see so many patients, have had so many of the same questions asked, etc., that they sometimes forget we are unique snowflakes who don't already know the answers and such.
I always bring an index card with questions to my usually-notsopersonable orthopedic surgeon, especially, lest he get away without my having asked my questions. sometimes, it's a good idea to have 2 cards, one for each of you.
the drug thing is very common these days - they don't want to set anyone on a path to possible addiction/dependence. if you can swing doing without, most docs aren't going to offer narcotics or sleep meds on their own.