ST Alpha - "Fedup-inspired Poll: So when does the rebound cycle end? When is one relationship not just a rebound for another? -- nm" (Reading a Post)

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Fedup-inspired Poll: So when does the rebound cycle end? When is one relationship not just a rebound for another? -- nm

Posted by Hotkiss (aka hotkiss7348) Jan 12 '10, 13:02

(No message)

Responses:

doesn't matter because you'll never recognise any of them properly at the time -- nm - zork Jan 12, 13:18
i think the bigger question is: Can a rebound relationship ever become THE ONE? or is there innately something missing from the get-go? -- nm - fedup Jan 12, 13:15 14
- Of course. There is no offical "Rebound" stamp on a relationship. - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 12, 13:23 1
  - ahem - groiny Jan 12, 13:24
- You guys realize rebounds aren't just "relationships that start after other relationships", right? - TFox Jan 12, 13:20 3
  - i think that my question does indicate some modicum of understanding of "rebound"... -- nm - fedup Jan 12, 13:24 2
    - if it's like Andie says, "a relationship you start when you're not over your ex"...then does that mean it's fated to never work. something missing? -- nm - fedup Jan 12, 13:26 1
      - maybe its "relationship" then? there's definitely some words in here that aren't being understood correctly. -- nm - TFox Jan 12, 13:26
- I think the impetus for a lot of relationships which are characterized as "rebounds" comes from the idea that while the per rebounding might no longer - znufrii Jan 12, 13:18 7
  - and while it's not impossible for that dynamic to reverse itself over time, it's far from the ideal situation for beginning a new relationship. -- nm - znufrii Jan 12, 13:19 6
    - [deleted] 5
      - because I was done with the old one and was ready to move on. everything else was details. - znufrii Jan 12, 13:23 4
        
        [deleted] 3
        
        indeed. -- nm - znufrii Jan 12, 13:25
        
        be nice to znu today -- nm - Hotkiss Jan 12, 13:24 1
        
        why start now? -- nm - zork Jan 12, 13:26
On the first sunday following the third full moon -- nm - Guigue Jan 12, 13:09
it ends when you stay with someone. -- nm - loosilu Jan 12, 13:07
Instantly. "Rebound" is just a BS term made up for sitcoms. - musubi Jan 12, 13:05 36
- i define a rebound as a 'relationship' you start when you aren't over your ex. -- nm - Andie Jan 12, 13:07 35
  - And when is someone "over" their ex? When they're ready to get in a new relationship. - musubi Jan 12, 13:10 4
    - As I said, never. We leave traces of ourselves behind (not just the groiny type). - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 12, 13:17
    - i've seen it in real life, it's a tactic people use to distract them from a painful breakup. - Andie Jan 12, 13:12 2
      - I'm not explaining myself well. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm saying they're self-defined. - musubi Jan 12, 13:14 1
        
        ah. -- nm - Andie Jan 12, 13:15
  - Right. I've never been in a rebound relationship, for example. nm - Dignan Jan 12, 13:09 27
    - (And I always *hate* it when people say "go sleep around!" as a means of forgetting a painful breakup.) nm - Dignan Jan 12, 13:11 26
      - me too. i've never had the mental energy to have a relationship while mourning the last one. -- nm - Andie Jan 12, 13:12 25
        
        I see a rebound as a instant gratification way to get some self-esteem back. Not saying that's wise, though. -- nm - con_carne Jan 12, 13:24 2
        
        But it's empty, and therefore counter-intuitive to this end. nm - Dignan Jan 12, 13:26 1
        
        People do stupid shit when they are in the emotional depths (not saying that describes HK, either) -- nm - con_carne Jan 12, 13:27
        
        I don't think it's about finding another relationship... - Mel Profit Jan 12, 13:23 7
        
        Right. Which is what I mean by "unfair to both parties." nm - Dignan Jan 12, 13:25 1
        
        That's what I said! Dignan and I agree....? -- nm - Hotkiss Jan 12, 13:26
        
        Hi! - Hotkiss Jan 12, 13:24 4
        
        I'm back now. I'm too lazy to work that hard for extended periods. -- nm - Mel Profit Jan 12, 13:27
        
        uh oh, Mel.... - groiny Jan 12, 13:25 2
        
        *winks at groiny* -- nm - Hotkiss Jan 12, 13:25 1
        
        *unzips* - groiny Jan 12, 13:26
        
        I have found this to be true. -- nm - Hotkiss Jan 12, 13:22
        
        I am usually just thrilled to be free from obligations. - groiny Jan 12, 13:14 8
        
        Then it isn't a painful breakup. nm - Dignan Jan 12, 13:15 7
        
        define painful? nm -- nm - groiny Jan 12, 13:15 6
        
        The opposite of "thrilled." nm - Dignan Jan 12, 13:16 5
        
        so if you are the dumper, not the dumpee, you can not have a rebound? nm -- nm - groiny Jan 12, 13:17 4
        
        (and, yes, a dumper can absolutely have a rebound. I'm talking about your statement specifically.) nm - Dignan Jan 12, 13:21
        
        If you are thrilled to be free, and felt that your relationship was an "obligation," then your next relationship isn't a rebound. nm - Dignan Jan 12, 13:19 1
        
        I find freedom to be much easier than being in a relationship. - groiny Jan 12, 13:21
        
        [deleted]
        
        It's so juvenile. And unfair to both parties. nm - Dignan Jan 12, 13:13 2
        
        who are you??? nm -- nm - groiny Jan 12, 13:14 1
        
        *laughing* - Andie Jan 12, 13:16
        
        me. three. -- nm - loosilu Jan 12, 13:13
  - start when, or end because -- nm - Max Jan 12, 13:08
  - I think this is exactly right. -- nm - pmb Jan 12, 13:08
It's all different, but easiest way...when you don't feel you need to be in a relationship. -- nm - Will Hunting Jan 12, 13:05 8
- I completely disagree. - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 12, 13:07 3
  - I think you got it backwards....if you just end a relationship and suddenly you have a missing component in your life - Will Hunting Jan 12, 13:10 2
    - Ah. I see the differenve. *My* natural state is to be alone. My "rebound" is my reset while being alone. I admit, there were times I (TMI) - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 12, 13:16
    - Ridiculously, I think you're both right. -- nm - Roger More Jan 12, 13:11
- No man is an island. Everyone needs relationshiops. -- nm - TFox Jan 12, 13:06 2
  - When you don't feel you need to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. -- nm - Loyola Jan 12, 13:08
  - "brought to you by Bon Jovi" -- nm - Hotkiss Jan 12, 13:07
- Yeah, this. -- nm - Loyola Jan 12, 13:06
It's different for *every single relationship.* nm - Dignan Jan 12, 13:04 4
- Why are you being difficult, Dignan? Just tell her the secret! -- nm - Reagen Jan 12, 13:07
- There has to be a simple mathematical expression for it! Something like 1/2 plus 7. (nm) - musubi Jan 12, 13:06 2
  - maybe we can modify "win shares" to something like "rebound shares".... -- nm - TFox Jan 12, 13:13 1
    - Bill James just came out with "Loss Shares", that's something! (nm) - musubi Jan 12, 13:15
Technically? - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 12, 13:03

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