First you wanted the Lenovo, then the O�Brienvo, and now back to the Lenovo.
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Honey, I think our new Lenovo Core2Duo IdeaCentre All-in-One with 21.5� LCD is broken.
THE COMPUTER! THE COMPUTER THING IS BROKEN!
No, the big, bright LCD screen is intact. The facial recognition software still sees me. The better-than-your-average-desktop video card is still running smoothly. Unfortunately, so is the stupid healthcare software yelling at me for sitting too close.
No, I just can�t figure out why Jay Leno is on right now. This is Conan�s time slot, right?
I mean, I got this sucker for two reasons: first, I hate Apple but I wanted an iMac; and second, I wanted to be able to watch interesting and well-crafted sketch comedy using the TV tuner. Not typos in local newspapers. What is this garbage? Oh, wow, look at that: people say dumb things when you blindside them with a celebrity, a camera crew, and a lighting rig. No kidding.
We might have to take this thing back. I mean, the DVD burner�s still good, the wireless keyboard is nice, and the Lenovo Rescue System with OneKey recovery and Antivirus are awesome. The Windows 7 Upgrade makes up for the installed Vista, and the Intel Core2 Duo Processor works great. This little 4-in-1 remote is pretty nifty, too.
But Jay Leno? No way. No deal.
What? They gave him this time slot? Why would they do that? His ratings have been terrible. Surely NBC wouldn�t reward failure like that, would they? I mean, that would be incredibly, almost criminally stupid.
Does the guy need more money? He hasn�t quite bought enough stupid cars? Why can�t he just keep shilling Doritos to a nation with an obesity epidemic? Or keep doing those god awful stand-up gigs in Hermosa Beach. I think more people might watch him there than on TV.
This is what�s wrong with America, you know. I�m telling you honey, this guy gets kicked off The Tonight Show, gets a new gig, sucks wind there, and gets rewarded with a better time slot at the expense of a more talented comedian. Failing upwards is the new American dream. It�s not right!
Well, on the bright side I guess we�ll keep the computer. We�ll just have to find some other reason to use it on late nights now.
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