boston.com Love Letters Response to "Gambling w/her Mistakes".
Posted by
Diva (aka Diva)
Jan 20 '10, 08:37
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GWHM, you're dealing with some serious mixed signals. He loves spending time with you, but he's giving you cash in an envelope. He's telling you'd he'd ditch you for a job without a second thought, but when you run out of his house angry, he�s following you to back-pedal.
Yes, he has built some walls. He has been hurt. But that doesn't excuse all of the wishy-washy behavior. At eight months, you have every right to know what he wants. At eight months, he should be ready to be accountable for something.
You have to ask the question clearly. And the question goes something like this:
�I am totally into this relationship. I dig you, despite your walls. If you think we might have a future together, I�m going to turn down the Rhode Island job because it�s not as big of a deal to me as human companionship. If you don�t see a future with me and you know that our time together is temporary, I'm going to drive down 95, buy myself some Del's lemonade, and live happily in Cranston. I understand that you don't want to be accountable for my decisions, but at eight months, you have to be open to taking some emotional risks for me -- because I'm willing to take them for you.�
I'm tempted to tell you to e-mail him as opposed to talking in person. It might give him some time to think about it -- and to respond less defensively.
I get the distance thing. Rhode Island is close, but really, make that drive six times in a row and see how you feel. It certainly won't bring the two of you any closer. It's fine if he doesn't want to be more than an hour apart. He just needs to say that.
Good luck. And if it doesn't work out with him, so be it. You deserve to be with someone who isn't shutting you out and making you work so hard. Providence is very cool. It has that romantic WaterFire thing. Better to enjoy it with the right guy.
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