ST Alpha - "IMO, the biggest difference between alcoholism and sex addiction is that more people *understand* alcoholism, because most of us drink." (Reading a Post)

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IMO, the biggest difference between alcoholism and sex addiction is that more people understand alcoholism, because most of us drink.

Posted by TFox Jan 20 '10, 09:06

And most of us have had too much on occasion, so there is some sympathy and understanding there. The people who understand where a pathological cheater or sex addict is coming from is much smaller. In fact, people are more likely to have been hurt badly by one than actually be one themselves, so people just... don't want to treat them as similar issues.

Responses:

Also one involves addiction to a chemical substance. The other is addiction to a certain behaviour. - Loyola Jan 20, 09:17 50
- "Which in some circles isn't an addiction at all" - pmb Jan 20, 09:26 41
  - Because he waited to say it until he got caught. And lost his contracts. -- nm - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:28 40
    - Most people don't really address their addictions until it negatively affects their lives. People don't realize they have a drinking problem until - pmb Jan 20, 09:32 30
      - As we have noted. "Do I drink too much?" vs "Do I sleep with too many women that are not my wife?" are *worlds* apart. -- nm - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:35 29
        
        Not necessarily. - pmb Jan 20, 09:44 23
        
        In all honesty, I don't care how sincere he is. -- nm - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:45 22
        
        if it just boils down to "fuck him, i could give a shit why", then fine. we don't need to debate anything then. -- nm - TFox Jan 20, 09:46 21
        
        But that is not really it. If he jammed a chick or two, maybe. - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:49 13
        
        so he would need help, right? because that is fucked up? -- nm - TFox Jan 20, 09:49 12
        
        well, serial killing is a bit of a stretch..... - groiny Jan 20, 09:53 7
        
        Just saying that a true compulsion will always be there. -- nm - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:56 2
        
        but he can learn how to channel it more constructively, contain it, step back, deal with it. that's what treatment is *for*. -- nm - TFox Jan 20, 09:57 1
        
        If he was to stupid to figure that out on his own, nobody will be able to teach him. -- nm - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:58
        
        Because it's possible that you can handle somethings in your life exceptionally well and struggle with others. - pmb Jan 20, 09:56 2
        
        yet, it is not indicate "addiction". - groiny Jan 20, 09:59 1
        
        Again: admitting addiction does *NOT* equal denying responsibility for actions. (nm) - musubi Jan 20, 10:01
        
        you will get no argument from me that he shouldn't have gotten married. that is clearly true. - TFox Jan 20, 09:55
        
        And here is the main reason I dropped out of my psychology major... he is beyond help. -- nm - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:51 3
        
        how you could possibly know that is amazing. -- nm - TFox Jan 20, 09:52 2
        
        He is only going because he has to. If it is addiction, no way it will do any good. The getting caught will do it, maybe but nothing that will be - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:55 1
        
        how you could possibly know that is amazing. -- nm - TFox Jan 20, 09:56
        
        I thought this was pmb's entire point about we don't know anything so shut up about it posts. - Will Hunting Jan 20, 09:47 6
        
        there is a difference between "i've made up my mind about him and nothing can convince me otherwise" and "I don't know so I'm not ruling it out". -- nm - TFox Jan 20, 09:51 5
        
        The evidence to convince me otherwise was....what? - Will Hunting Jan 20, 09:57 3
        
        you have no evidence to support your iron clad opinion. -- nm - TFox Jan 20, 09:59 2
        
        Well, there's more smoke for his position (Tiger just liked jamming chicks, got caught and now he's doing PR) than the Tiger is afflicted argument. -- nm - Name Withheld By Request Jan 20, 10:05 1
        
        That's what I'm saying...I'll gladly stand on my side given the likelyhood of which is right. -- nm - Will Hunting Jan 20, 10:06
        
        Exactly. -- nm - pmb Jan 20, 09:53
        
        except that they aren't. -- nm - TFox Jan 20, 09:38 4
        
        Yes, they are. -- nm - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:39 3
        
        It is a line he crossed. A line in black and white. -- nm - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:40 2
        
        which is not ok. but the underlying conditions are not overwhelmingly different. -- nm - TFox Jan 20, 09:41 1
        
        It doesn't matter. Any human with at least a semi-average IQ knows they have crossed that line. - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:44
    - What addict randomly admits they need help prior to getting in deep trouble? - TFox Jan 20, 09:31 7
      - The Enquirer (IIRC) found out a year before and he was able to squash it. - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:34 6
        
        Seriously? You think this is evidence he *doesn't* have an addiction? - musubi Jan 20, 09:47 3
        
        I say this simply because of the rock bottom argument. -- nm - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:50 2
        
        Knowing with the perfect view of retrospect, how can you possibly call his (at least then) successful coverup of the problem "rock bottom"? (nm) - musubi Jan 20, 09:55 1
        
        Becasue he was faced with the fact that it could happen, where before he thought he could do anything. -- nm - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:59
        
        There aren't rules to this stuff. "It was ok to realize you had a problem by x date, but now, fuck you." -- nm - TFox Jan 20, 09:35 1
        
        Well, I honestly think it was too late before it even started. -- nm - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:36
    - most addicts hit some sort of "rock bottom" before they acknowledge that they need help... -- nm - znufrii Jan 20, 09:31
- technically, couldnt sex addiction be an addiction to certain chemicals released during sex? -- nm - tRuMaN Jan 20, 09:26 5
  - Technically Hitler wasn't so bad, maybe he was just addicted to the buzz he got from killing millions. - Loyola Jan 20, 09:30 3
    - Dictators Anonymous -- nm - Beaker Jan 20, 09:32
    - Godwin's Law applied - argument over. -- nm - LMS Jan 20, 09:32 1
      - *laughing* couldn't resist. -- nm - Loyola Jan 20, 09:32
  - There are other ways for them to be released, so no. -- nm - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:27
- [deleted]
- *ding* -- nm - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:19
Worst. Hump Day. Ever. -- nm - Spawn: Champion of ST Jan 20, 09:17
I really don't think casual drinkers understand alcoholism -- nm - decline Jan 20, 09:15 1
- I agree. Heck, I'm a somewhat compulsive drinker and *I* don't understand alcoholism. -- nm - mara Jan 20, 09:18
if we can understand alcohol b/c we all drink, why can't we understand sex addiction since we all have sex? - i am gay for batman Jan 20, 09:13
For some sex addiction stems from sexual abuse as a child. Sometimes it's hard to judge without knowing all the facts. -- nm - LMS Jan 20, 09:13 1
- and for others it comes from being famous and thinking they have the right to nail anyone they want -- nm - Beaker Jan 20, 09:14
I don't have the link handy, but there's a growing body of study that suggests even alcoholism or drug addictions aren't "addictions". - Name Withheld By Request Jan 20, 09:10 2
- This doesn't surprise me. I could be convinced that alcoholism is a *symptom* of something and not a disease itself. -- nm - TWuG Jan 20, 09:13 1
  - Of course it plays to the "personal responsiblity" self-righteousness of myself, but I could very well see it. -- nm - Name Withheld By Request Jan 20, 09:21
And Will, LIR but, "If I go out and drink and act like a violent asshole; that doesn't make me an alcoholic"? - TFox Jan 20, 09:07 24
- If I stop drinking becuase I realized the issue, I'm not beholden to the booze...I'm not addicted. - Will Hunting Jan 20, 09:10 14
  - And Will, my point is (which was LIR), that you don't have a clue what it is. - pmb Jan 20, 09:14
  - Alcoholics don't drink against their will either. It's still a choice. Admitting adiction doesn't equal saying "it's not my fault". - musubi Jan 20, 09:11 12
    - Alcoholics can make a million excuses to have a drink (despite previous horrible consequences). - Andie Jan 20, 09:16 2
      - I agree and nothing I've said contradicts this. (nm) - musubi Jan 20, 09:25
      - The extent of the compartmentalized thinking is just amazing. -- nm - mara Jan 20, 09:20
    - They are severely compromised by the 'need' for the stimulus. - Will Hunting Jan 20, 09:15 8
      - It may be easier to say that, but that doesn't make it true. - musubi Jan 20, 09:17 7
        
        i lived with an alchoholic i feel pretty confident saying she was not in control of herself. -- nm - Andie Jan 20, 09:18 6
        
        Does it absolve her for responsibility of her actions? No, and that's what we're saying. - musubi Jan 20, 09:24 5
        
        I never made this leap, at least knowingly. I don't believe it absolves him of all fault. - Will Hunting Jan 20, 09:30
        
        hell no, but it does explain them to a degree. i have no comment on Tiger, just because i don't know. - Andie Jan 20, 09:26 3
        
        They do have a choice. They accept powerlessness over alcohol, but they have the choice to reachout and get help to stop. - musubi Jan 20, 09:52 2
        
        i don't think we can say that. -- nm - Andie Jan 20, 09:55 1
        
        My understanding (and I'll gladly admit to being mistaken if I am), is that is the foundation of AA. - musubi Jan 20, 09:59
- Right. Once is understandable, twice I'd at least be concerned, any more and there's no doubt. -- nm - Dano Jan 20, 09:10
- no, that means you are a bad drunk. nm -- nm - groiny Jan 20, 09:10 4
  - But once you know that and decide to get that drunk again anyway there's a problem. -- nm - Dano Jan 20, 09:11
  - I think "bad drunk", if not the definition of alcoholic, is at least a SERIOUS warning sign. -- nm - TWuG Jan 20, 09:11 1
    - the definition of "alcoholic" is much broader than "I can't get through the day without drinking". -- nm - TFox Jan 20, 09:12
  - provided that the two categories overlap significantly, yes. -- nm - znufrii Jan 20, 09:11
- thats seems like a broad brush you have there to me anyway -- nm - Beaker Jan 20, 09:09 1
  - lots of people cheat on their spouses and arent sex addicts just like lots of people drink and get a-holey and aren't alkies -- nm - Beaker Jan 20, 09:10
- Agreed, once again. (nm) - musubi Jan 20, 09:08

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IMO, the biggest difference between alcoholism and sex addiction is that more people *understand* alcoholism, because most of us drink.

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IMO, the biggest difference between alcoholism and sex addiction is that more people understand alcoholism, because most of us drink.