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Posts: 152

ooh, just remembered there's another pork chop stuffed sammy in the fridge. *raids the fridge* -- nm - CQ Feb 26, 10:37
When the Simmons chat is completed, would any of you kind souls be willing to c&p it here? -- nm - Name Withheld By Request Feb 26, 10:28 2
- I'll toss it on for ya -- nm - flavorize Feb 26, 10:31 1
  - A scholar and a gentleman. -- nm - Name Withheld By Request Feb 26, 10:33
friday hax chat q: how much PDA should he be giving his woman to make her feel valued? - jingoist pixie Feb 26, 10:23 10
- he's not in love -- nm - 10CC Feb 26, 10:33
- Have they not followed the clearly layed out guidelines in the dating handbook? - pmb Feb 26, 10:31
- Occasional eye contact should be plenty. -- nm - Dr.Vermin Feb 26, 10:31
- At a minimum, he should return her emails and go out with her when she (repeatedly) asks. -- nm - David Feb 26, 10:26 1
  - *slap* -- nm - tRuMaN Feb 26, 10:26
- Sit on his lap? What, are they in highschool? Tell her to act like an adult. -- nm -- nm - CQ Feb 26, 10:25 1
  - CQ is wise. -- nm - TFox Feb 26, 10:34
- will he go down on her in a theatre? -- nm - Don Homer Feb 26, 10:25
- set her up to meet with a casting agency. -- nm - Max Feb 26, 10:24
- "Slap on the ass and a peck on the forehead." -- nm - Name Withheld By Request Feb 26, 10:24
People on soap operas sure do cry a lot. -- nm - David Feb 26, 10:18 3
- just like that prima donna Julia Mancuso! -- nm - jingoist pixie Feb 26, 10:21
- glenn beck's show is a soap opera? -- nm - Beryllium Feb 26, 10:21 1
  - in a manner of speaking. -- nm - Reagen Feb 26, 10:21
so st, how exactly do i break it off with crazy chick? - tRuMaN Feb 26, 10:11 61
- "He means Viking." -- nm - Max Feb 26, 10:40 1
  - Vikings don't date the pull them by the hair -- nm - Danedukenuuk Feb 26, 10:43
- Riffing on Dane's idea: Propose a three way (the good kind) one way or the other you win. (nm) - musubi Feb 26, 10:36 1
  - and get a bank statement asap -- nm - Danedukenuuk Feb 26, 10:39
- I'm not sure you gave the "not replying" strategy a fair chance. -- nm - mara Feb 26, 10:36 1
  - mara, you are ratings *death* for The Truman Show. (nm) - musubi Feb 26, 10:37
- ask he if she's bi -- nm - Danedukenuuk Feb 26, 10:34 2
  - Why? -- nm - Facto Feb 26, 10:35 1
    - if she says - Danedukenuuk Feb 26, 10:36
- Gross habits in her presence? - HdnAgnda Feb 26, 10:26 2
  - That would involve being in her presence though. -- nm - Ender Feb 26, 10:27 1
    - Oh, I suspect she is close by already. - HdnAgnda Feb 26, 10:29
- Tell her you both know/knew it was a longshot and "still be friends" thing. Then blow off every call/email. She needs drama, she'll move on quickly, -- nm - flavorize Feb 26, 10:24 4
  - "still be friends" should never, ever, evereverevereverever escape his lips near this chick. -- nm - TFox Feb 26, 10:35
  - This makes too much sense - Facto Feb 26, 10:27 2
    - Methinks you are wrong. This would *be* drama for her. (nm) - musubi Feb 26, 10:29 1
      - You're both right. The correct answer is sleep with her once (like everyone else), then tell her she looks like Big Bird and screws like Blossum. - flavorize Feb 26, 10:35
- Meet her for lunch, but wear Depends instead of underpants. -- nm - TFox Feb 26, 10:22
- I'd say you're fucked 'til *she* decides it's over. -- nm - CrankYanker Feb 26, 10:21 1
  - He could finally punch his boss in that nose he picks so much, lose his job and become a hobo. Should work. - Facto Feb 26, 10:24
- Tell her to meet you at the county marriage bureau's office. -- nm - Max Feb 26, 10:21 6
  - This would surely backfire. - Stephen Feb 26, 10:23 5
    - sometimes you just gotta fly *into* The Black Hole to escape it. -- nm - Max Feb 26, 10:25 4
      - So you're saying he should have sex with her? -- nm - Stephen Feb 26, 10:30 3
        
        He wants to, no? If he didn't still ponder that, he would've moved on long time ago. - Facto Feb 26, 10:33 2
        
        Yes, you are indeed missing something... - Stephen Feb 26, 10:38 1
        
        Well, there you go. I think I need a meal, first and foremost... -- nm - Facto Feb 26, 10:43
- Fake a head injury + amnesia. -- nm - Reagen Feb 26, 10:20 2
  - This is where she tries to move into his house to help "rehabilitate" him. - musubi Feb 26, 10:22 1
    - man, this is a really hard Choose Your Own Adventure book. -- nm - Max Feb 26, 10:29
- Tell her you're married -- nm - scorpion Feb 26, 10:20 2
  - That's so unimaginative. Let's talk crazy here. Tell her SHE'S married. "I can't talk to you, your husband came to my work and punched me!" -- nm - Ender Feb 26, 10:22 1
    - "He already threatened me once!" -- nm - Beryllium Feb 26, 10:23
- I think you're going to have to ignore her communications from now on. Eventually, it will go away. -- nm - CQ Feb 26, 10:19
- I discovered on Ancestry.com that we're cousins. -- nm - Dr.Vermin Feb 26, 10:18 1
  - for a girl who really wishes he was her dad, this is also guaranteed to have the opposite effect. -- nm - TFox Feb 26, 10:19
- You may have to kill her dog. -- nm - Reagen Feb 26, 10:17
- Tell her you're moving to Yemen for work. -- nm - David Feb 26, 10:17
- tell her you're gay -- nm - peglegpete Feb 26, 10:16
- I missed it. Did you actually meet with her? -- nm - Inigo Feb 26, 10:15 5
  - No. That's the best part of this. -- nm - Reagen Feb 26, 10:20 4
    - ika tangent - I think I'm now konias' best friend. He's talking my ear off. -- nm - Inigo Feb 26, 10:22 3
      - have you asked him if he is going to run away and hide when we attack again? - tRuMaN Feb 26, 10:26
      - It's funny that they still think they can win. -- nm - Reagen Feb 26, 10:23 1
        
        There is a non-zero possibility of boring us to death. (nm) - musubi Feb 26, 10:25
- Find a girl friend, or have a female friend act one for you for a while... ? -- nm - Facto Feb 26, 10:13 4
  - oh, I have just the girl for him too! .....new client of mine.... -- (link) - CrankYanker Feb 26, 10:16 3
    - Wouldn't work - completely lacks plausibility (unless Truman is a one in a million hunk and drives a Maserati) -- nm - Facto Feb 26, 10:18 2
      - maybe he's just a nice guy.... can't a hot girl fall for that? - CrankYanker Feb 26, 10:19 1
        
        A semi-hot one, but not that one, no... (Ps. I'm aware it was irony ;-) -- nm - Facto Feb 26, 10:21
- call her fat. -- nm - TFox Feb 26, 10:12 10
  - And it has to be explicitly, crazy probably doesn't pick up on subtle passive agressiveness.(nm) - musubi Feb 26, 10:14 9
    - musubi, in his own barely literate and expressive way, makes a somewhat fair point -- nm - jingoist pixie Feb 26, 10:16 2
      - You are fat. (nm) - musubi Feb 26, 10:18
      - oh, today might be a good ST day *settles in* -- nm - crash davis Feb 26, 10:17
    - i agree. subject of the e-mail: "you're fat." body of the e-mail: "seriously, i mean it." -- nm - TFox Feb 26, 10:15 1
      - Bah... With the added neurosis that'll induce, plus rabid working out in a gym etc, she'll look like an Auschwitz resident in mere weeks... -- nm - Facto Feb 26, 10:16
    - How about he tells her he has herpes, and asks her to swear to not tell anyone.... ? -- nm - Facto Feb 26, 10:14 3
      - she may (probably?) have herpes already. this would only increase his suitability as a mate. -- nm - TFox Feb 26, 10:15 2
        
        or she would make it her mission to go out and GET herpes -- nm - Beryllium Feb 26, 10:20 1
        
        this is hilarious. -- nm - TFox Feb 26, 10:22
Ika.com Slack Alliance has moved into the #19 top alliances position! Where are the dot.com people placed? -- nm - CrankYanker Feb 26, 10:08 4
- slacker ally would be a better name for thoose slackers....get on with it guys -- nm - Danedukenuuk Feb 26, 10:31
- Slack is dot org. Apparently #19 alliances don't know their server. (nm) - musubi Feb 26, 10:11 1
  - sfek? ;-) -- nm - CrankYanker Feb 26, 10:14
- #9 -- nm - scorpion Feb 26, 10:09
Bill Simmons (ESPN) on LOST:"I'm starting to feel like it's the last minute of the Sopranos, only it's happening over the course of 4 months. Spoilers - flavorize Feb 26, 10:06 21
- *future episode SPOILERS* - psilotum Feb 26, 10:10
- The Lost folks have only themselves to blame for one what almost undoubtedly be a disappointing conclusion for most viewers. That said, I like The - Don Homer Feb 26, 10:08 11
  - we still enjoy it quite a bit. I want to see it until the end since I tuned in on the pilot. -- nm - CQ Feb 26, 10:11 2
    - Yep. Me too. Lostie from the beginning. Can't wait for the finale ( spoils) - flavorize Feb 26, 10:16 1
      - it surprises me people are always looking for "answers" when they should just enjoy the ride. -- nm - CQ Feb 26, 10:20
  - i've rarely been disappointed in the show to this point and doubt i will be disappointed in the conclusion. either people get Lost or they don't -- nm - jingoist pixie Feb 26, 10:09 7
    - I've already resigned myself that there is no way they can satisfactorily wrap up the series, and decided to just enjoy the ride. - musubi Feb 26, 10:17 3
      - ayup. - psilotum Feb 26, 10:22
      - it's always been pretty wobbly, it'll stay that way to the end...nm - x Feb 26, 10:18 1
        
        *nods* -- nm - Don Homer Feb 26, 10:19
    - No matter how good or bad it is, some people will be upset. It's been a great show so I'm still happy. -- nm - MDH Feb 26, 10:14
    - I enjoy the show for the most part, don't get me wrong. heck, it's one of the few shows I watch. But when each time you provide an answer - Don Homer Feb 26, 10:14 1
      - They can't answer every mystery, let alone in a logical, satisfying way. You're right there. - psilotum Feb 26, 10:16
- i wish bil simmons would crash land on a mysterious island adrift somewhere in time....nm - x Feb 26, 10:07 7
  - The best thing that ever happened to Simmons is ESPN hiring Reilly and putting links to his stuff right next to Simmons'. - TFox Feb 26, 10:08 6
    - Lol to the IM. Simmons needs an editor; he drones on and writes for 2000 words, at least, per article. 95% is just fluff or junk -- nm - flavorize Feb 26, 10:10 5
      - I kind of think he has a generator filled with Karate Kid quotes and "_______ _______ Face" lines and let's it rip at this point. -- nm - Reagen Feb 26, 10:16 1
        
        When he stops Trying So Damn Hard to be hip and make pop culture references (which is very rare) he produces a decent piece. - musubi Feb 26, 10:20
      - Yeah, for me I like that seven or eight pages, even if it's not 100% germaine to the topic. I just enjoy his writing style. - Name Withheld By Request Feb 26, 10:14
      - if they don't edit easterbrook, they aint editing nobody....nm - x Feb 26, 10:11 1
        
        fact. -- nm - TFox Feb 26, 10:12
Forget those loony Tea Partiers - join the Coffee Party instead! -- (link) - Don Homer Feb 26, 10:05
i love the beverly hillbillies. one of the great sitcom ensemble casts... - x Feb 26, 10:04 3
- We used to see Buddy Ebsen at the Lido movie theater all the time. He had one of the best looking homes on Balboa Peninsula. -- nm - CrankYanker Feb 26, 10:06 2
  - he's fantastic. amazing dancer too....nm - x Feb 26, 10:08 1
    - would have been the Tin Man if they didn't almost suffocate him to death with the toxic silver makeup -- nm - jingoist pixie Feb 26, 10:11
Fave microbrew #1: The Pump House Brewery -- (link) - Shaun Feb 26, 10:04 1
- Fave microbrew #2: Picaroon's Traditional Ales. -- (link) - Shaun Feb 26, 10:05
how does a woman fill the sink up with 2 glasses, 2 dishes, 2 bowls, and a handful of silverware when all she had for lunch was soup and sammy? -- nm - CQ Feb 26, 10:03 4
- you need a bigger sink. -- nm - CrankYanker Feb 26, 10:05
- you got vindictively bitched! -- nm - jingoist pixie Feb 26, 10:04 2
  - I love doing the dishes, but it's down right amazing. Thank god she doesn't cook dinners! -- nm - CQ Feb 26, 10:05 1
    - women are *dish hogs* -- nm - jingoist pixie Feb 26, 10:06
*wormtongues ST* Do my bidding! -- nm - Inigo Feb 26, 10:03
[deleted] 14
- ever have a Canadian tell you that American beer/sex in a canoe joke? -- nm - crash davis Feb 26, 10:04 3
  - alcohol content of Bud v. Canadian is about equal. But if you're used to drinking Lite beers... -- nm - Reagen Feb 26, 10:06 2
    - It probably is, but in college we drove north and thought we were drinking stuff with a much higher %. (I saw your myth post below) -- nm - crash davis Feb 26, 10:08 1
      - it's a few tenths higher. -- nm - Reagen Feb 26, 10:11
- then you meant "oxymoron". :) - Reagen Feb 26, 10:04 9
  - [deleted] 8
    - anathema would mean that we hate it because it's famous. - Reagen Feb 26, 10:09 7
      - [deleted] 6
        
        I would say our best beer is not well known (in the same way the best American beer is not). -- nm - Reagen Feb 26, 10:22 5
        
        [deleted] 4
        
        There -- nm - Reagen Feb 26, 10:30 1
        
        's lots of Americans that seem to know of our beer. That's what I'm talking about. - Reagen Feb 26, 10:31
        
        Canada is known for *liking* beer. -- nm - Beryllium Feb 26, 10:28 1
        
        This is correct. -- nm - Shaun Feb 26, 10:35
Lucky Lager was the cheapest available keg when I was in college. Also gave the nastiest hangovers. -- nm - crash davis Feb 26, 10:03 10
- it can't have been cheaper than the canadian ace (made in new jersey!) malt liquor we used to get for 6 bucks for a case of quarts...nm - x Feb 26, 10:06 5
  - I'm not sure, but I think I remember the price was $22 for a keg whatever that converts to. -- nm - crash davis Feb 26, 10:10 4
    - btw, "Canadian Ace (brewed in New Jersey)" cracks me up -- nm - crash davis Feb 26, 10:11 3
      - hammonton, nj, in fact. the stuff was scary. you'd open the box of quarts, and the bottles would all be filled at varying levels....nm - x Feb 26, 10:13 2
        
        omg, that screams stay away (but being young, I wouldn't have) -- nm - crash davis Feb 26, 10:14 1
        
        good to know some things don't change with age - jingoist pixie Feb 26, 10:17
- You can still get it for about $1 a can. -- nm - Reagen Feb 26, 10:06
- This shit ain't Lucky Lager! [punch] -- nm - Early Grayce Feb 26, 10:05
- sounds like it should have been called *Un*lucky Lager to me - jingoist pixie Feb 26, 10:05 1
  - I'll give it credit, it worked economically for us, and gave us motivation when we graduated to try real expensive beers. -- nm - crash davis Feb 26, 10:06
There Might Be a Ceement Pond -- nm - jingoist pixie Feb 26, 10:02 3
- are you busy this weekend? this might be a good writing exercise. -- nm - Max Feb 26, 10:08 1
  - gotta crank out 5 or 6 more Parks & Recreation pages by tomorrow for a contest deadline - jingoist pixie Feb 26, 10:10
- and the spinoff - No Country For Old Grannies -- nm - Beryllium Feb 26, 10:03
Hyperbole! -- nm - Granny Feb 26, 10:01

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