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bonus hax chat q: parent doesn't want 6 y.o. going over to play at the gay family's house cause he's "too young to understand" gay (apparently)

Posted by jingoist pixie (aka chris) Feb 26 '10, 10:56

Wanting to be tactful: I don't want my 6-year-old son going over to his friend's house to play because the friend's parents are gay. I am not homophobic and have nothing against gay people--I just don't want my son exposed to this unfamiliar lifestyle at such a young age. I just think he's too young to understand. If he was older, it would be different. We've had my son's friend over to play several times already and it's getting awkward not sending our son over there. How can I explain my feelings without making it seem like I'm homophobic or without offending my son's friend's very nice parents?

Responses:

Furthermore, sheltering the kid from it is just prolonging the social stigmas on both ends. It's a self-replicating cycle ... -- nm - Beryllium Feb 26, 11:34
I always love how homophobes always lead with "I'm not a homophobe but..." -- nm - David Feb 26, 11:14 26
- I'm not a redneck, but I grew up in a mobile home with a broken town car (or two) in the front yard. -- nm - Beryllium Feb 26, 11:18 1
  - that should be a broken-down car. Couldn't afford a town car. ;-) -- nm - Beryllium Feb 26, 11:18
- Because you don't have to be scared of gays to question sociaty changes, but you get branded with that anyway. -- nm - Name Withheld By Request Feb 26, 11:16 23
  - But "question" often equals "oppose" - Guigue Feb 26, 11:22 3
    - Here's the thing...Not nearly as often as people think it does. This question is a perfect example of that. - Name Withheld By Request Feb 26, 11:26 2
      - So the parent is not a homophobe, he/she is just ignorant and stupid? -- nm - Beryllium Feb 26, 11:28 1
        
        Yeah, just because she doesn't mean too it doesn't make her worries less homophobic - Guigue Feb 26, 11:31
  - The who in the what now? -- nm - David Feb 26, 11:18 18
    - You don't have to be a homophobe to be confused/anxious about how quickly society is changing, yet as soon as you voice that, you usually get... - Name Withheld By Request Feb 26, 11:22 15
      - Sure, but don't say "I'm not a homophobe but..." It's one of those phrases that make people assume you actually are, because it's been used by often - Roger More Feb 26, 11:28 1
        
        "I'm not gay, but that is a *fabulous* blouse ..." -- nm - Beryllium Feb 26, 11:29
      - But unless you're concerned about gay people, being concerned about gay people becoming more visible is incoherent. -- nm - Reagen Feb 26, 11:26
      - Unless you're also scared of the internet and the Segway, being scared of gays because they are more and more visible is pretty homophobic -- nm - Guigue Feb 26, 11:25
      - Homophobe: an "irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals" - JaxSean Feb 26, 11:24 1
        
        Oh, great, now we can map the Viking discussion over to the definition of Homophobe. Heh. -- nm - Beryllium Feb 26, 11:25
      - Society has always been changing quickly. Get used to it. -- nm - Beryllium Feb 26, 11:24
      - What in God's name does -that- have to do with some pinhead not letting their six-year-old go over to a house that got gay in it? -- nm - David Feb 26, 11:24 7
        
        Were you not calling the letter writer a homophobe? - Name Withheld By Request Feb 26, 11:30 6
        
        The post is effectively "I don't let my child visit Dano, a brain surgeon with the world's best personality, because he's gay." - David Feb 26, 11:32 4
        
        She's confused. She's obviously torn about it which means she's a helluva lot more open minded than many who would have just said no. - Name Withheld By Request Feb 26, 11:34 3
        
        She's looking for reinforcement in her hatemongering. "Enable me to say it's okay not to let my children visit the gays." - David Feb 26, 11:37
        
        So she's just slightly homophobic, then? - musubi Feb 26, 11:36 1
        
        "just the tip", basically, yeah. Sure, she's conflicted, and she's not trying to be malicious. But if the shoe fits ... -- nm - Beryllium Feb 26, 11:37
        
        It's pretty clear that the situation has an element of "fear of teh gay" to it, just like if the parents were black. -- nm - Beryllium Feb 26, 11:31
    - He's been drinking his Conservative Logic Juice today ... -- nm - Beryllium Feb 26, 11:19 1
      - today? -- nm - znufrii Feb 26, 11:20
"too young to understand" or you're just too uncomfortable to try and explain it? -- nm - znufrii Feb 26, 11:11 2
- or "too young to understand" in a way that adopts and affirms your own internal prejudices? -- nm - znufrii Feb 26, 11:26
- "Sometimes, when two daddies love each other, they open the special closet" -- nm - Beryllium Feb 26, 11:12
i will take a contrary view and say i do believe the parent is well-intentioned. just ridiculously naive or overprotective - jingoist pixie Feb 26, 11:05 9
- It's not like a kid is born with a notion that a man is supposed to be married to a women, it's something they learn eventually - Guigue Feb 26, 11:17 1
  - if anything, it's the ideal time to expose them to it, because they don't have any preconceived notions about it. - znufrii Feb 26, 11:19
- pixie is smrt. -- nm - Name Withheld By Request Feb 26, 11:15
- Practically this probably correct. It is uncomfortable the first time dealing with these kinds of things because you don't know what kind of - pmb Feb 26, 11:11
- and more than likely, the 6 year old friend has already explained the situation to the kid better than his parents will ever be able to. -- nm - CrankYanker Feb 26, 11:07 2
  - I agree with this. The Fresh Prince *was* right. - JaxSean Feb 26, 11:23
  - yes -- nm - Epiphany Feb 26, 11:19
- I can see this possiblity -- nm - ty97 Feb 26, 11:06
- i agree with you. probably doesn't understand how much his son already understands about the situation. -- nm - TFox Feb 26, 11:05
When our daughter was little, I would always take her across the street if I saw a gay couple walking toward us. - CrankYanker Feb 26, 11:05
I do understand it some though. It must be difficult for a 6-year-old to understand with all of the fisting and child raping and all. -- nm - Dano Feb 26, 11:02 4
- "You can tell the Obamas have a loving relationship with all the hugging and fisting they do." -- nm - clueless announcer Feb 26, 11:04
- "I just wanted to make sure that before my son arrives, you'll be putting all the swings and plugs and whatnot away." -- nm - TFox Feb 26, 11:03 2
  - "I don't have the budget to redo the interior design of my son's room" -- nm - ty97 Feb 26, 11:06
  - and the NEA funded artwork. -- nm - Max Feb 26, 11:05
better Q> how and i eat my cake and still have my cake left -- nm - Danedukenuuk Feb 26, 11:02
"I'm not ready to talk to my kid about butt stuff and junk, so could one of you dudes just pretend to be your kid's uncle or something until I get - pmb Feb 26, 11:01
what a dilkweed -- nm - CQ Feb 26, 10:59
Dear dumbshit: Fear not, your son won't decide he liked the taste of cock just because he goes over to that house. - ty97 Feb 26, 10:59 1
- *blink* I thought this was TFox at first. -- nm - JaxSean Feb 26, 10:59
i'm... pretty sure it is literally impossible to achieve what this person is going for. -- nm - TFox Feb 26, 10:58
My daughter asked me last night : "Can a woman marry a woman?" - oblique Feb 26, 10:57 3
- No, you wouldn't want two vindictive bitches under the same roof. -- nm - CrankYanker Feb 26, 11:01
- so what did you say? -- nm - Don Homer Feb 26, 10:58 1
  - I basically said, that some people make that choice (she also clarified she was asking about making babies) - oblique Feb 26, 11:01
Because you *are* homophobic and have something against gay people. -- nm - JaxSean Feb 26, 10:57
you can't -- nm - Don Homer Feb 26, 10:57
A: You can't, homophobe. -- nm - Reagen Feb 26, 10:57 1
- *ding* -- nm - znufrii Feb 26, 10:57

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bonus hax chat q: parent doesn't want 6 y.o. going over to play at the gay family's house cause he's "too young to understand" gay (apparently)

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