ST Alpha - "My response. You could be overanalyzing, or he could be pulling away. But, if you are moving for yourself, like you say you are, this won't matter " (Reading a Post)

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In response to "boston.com Love Letters: Should I move for him?" by Diva

My response. You could be overanalyzing, or he could be pulling away. But, if you are moving for yourself, like you say you are, this won't matter

Posted by Andie (aka Andie) Mar 2 '10, 07:14

either way.

First of all, be really and truly honest with yourself and decide why you are moving to the city you chose. DO you like it? Do you know it? Would you be moving there if he was moving several hours away? If the answer to all that is 'yes', then tell him that. And make your plans.

If you realize that it's just one of many places you would consider moving, but his being a couple hours away was the tipping point, that's perfectly okay too, but again, he needs to know. He may love that you are going to be close by, but just doesn't want to be responsible for someone else's happiness at this point in his life. If you can honestly reassure him that that is not the case, he may relax.

Responses:

I was going to type a bunch of words, but Andie answered it perfectly. - Fuzzy Mar 2, 07:40
[deleted] 8
- And why is he just starting his "college experience" at 23? Shouldn't he be done with that by now? -- nm - Ender Mar 2, 07:41 2
  - Letter writer says he's "going back" to college... - znufrii Mar 2, 07:49
  - I had to work a while before I could go. $$$ -- nm - Diva Mar 2, 07:42
- I get that, and if he chooses to end the relationship for his own reasons that his right, but she should be able to move to a city she desires if that - Andie Mar 2, 07:39 3
  - [deleted] 2
    - oh, i agree - that's why i said do a little introspective searching and figure out why you really are moving there. -- nm - Andie Mar 2, 07:42 1
      - [deleted]
- True, if she has convinced herself to move west for herself, she shoul dbe confortable enough with her decision not to need to give him 2 hours worth - znufrii Mar 2, 07:37
yup. -- nm - znufrii Mar 2, 07:29
I think this pretty much nails it. -- nm - pmb Mar 2, 07:28
*likes this* -- nm - Diva Mar 2, 07:18

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My response. You could be overanalyzing, or he could be pulling away. But, if you are moving for yourself, like you say you are, this won't matter

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