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boston.com Love Letters: He went from white collar to blue

Posted by Diva (aka Diva) Mar 5 '10, 11:14

Hi Meredith,

When I met my current fianc� he was working as a consultant at a large company in the city. He loved the company but lacked the enthusiasm for sitting in front of a computer screen all day. He has since decided to take a more hands-on position, doing a job that let's just say, is, below him. He has a master�s degree yet has now settled on a blue collar job for less pay, simply to "be out of a desk." Now add to this ... his mother chose this job for him. She personally found it for him and spent weeks on end calling his cell over it, even telling me how great it would be if he took this other position. His mother comes from a very hands-on family, and her job is hands-on, as well ... and seeing her son in a suit-only office position I think intimidated her a bit. Now I am stuck and I don�t know what to do. I offer advice, and he does seem to listen, but he also seems to take his Mother's advice first and foremost. I come from a family that has a very suit-only attitude, so this makes his new job all the more challenging for me to accept. My main question is -- do I have any say in this? Should I just accept that now I will be the breadwinner for the next ten years or so?

� White Collar Romantic, Boston

Responses:

If you want money over love, get yourself into trophy wife shape. -- nm - crash davis Mar 5, 11:25 1
- This is an awesome response. -- nm - Jim Mar 5, 11:28
"below him"? Fuck you. This is what people mean when they say they hate elitism. -- nm - Dr.Vermin Mar 5, 11:25
Jack Dawson got a fianc� - Danedukenuuk Mar 5, 11:24
i'm less concerned about the job itself than the fact that he's a big fat mama's boy. DTMFA! -- nm - 16 & pixie Mar 5, 11:23 7
- I think she's playing the angle that he's a moma's boy so she doesn't sound like a total selfish ass -- nm - CQ Mar 5, 11:25 6
  - she and her family still sound like selfish asses but that doesn't change the fact that mama's calling all of his career shots -- nm - 16 & pixie Mar 5, 11:30 5
    - Well, in her family's defence, they haven't actually said anything about it. They just all have white collar jobs -- nm - Roger More Mar 5, 11:36
    - As always ST is taking the letter writer as fact. In this case, she is clearly not right so I suspect there is even more to it. -- nm - Spawn Mar 5, 11:33
    - I wouldn't say they're selfish, more elitist. we also don't know what started the ball rolling for the mom to find the job. - b. Mar 5, 11:33
    - Between mom and fiancee, mom is liklier to know best. - Dr.Vermin Mar 5, 11:32
    - How do you know? maybe he told his mom, "I hate my job, I really want to do *insert job here*...do you know anyone? -- nm - Jim Mar 5, 11:31
she'd rather be with him when he's making more money and miserable? - b. Mar 5, 11:21
There's your women's lib, baby. -- nm - Max Mar 5, 11:20
what a bitch -- nm - CQ Mar 5, 11:19 7
- imean, I went form white to blue becaue it made me so much happier and now I own a small business. It was rough and hard at first and the pay was less - CQ Mar 5, 11:22 6
  - do I know what you used to do? -- nm - b. Mar 5, 11:30 1
    - I used to work in sales in south Florida for a couple of companies. I got sick of the b.s. and the sucking up and the pressure and stress of making #s -- nm - CQ Mar 5, 11:32
  - you need to come to boston and punch her in the face. - Diva Mar 5, 11:26 3
    - It was a definite "holy crap, I'm gonna do this" moment, but I was still young and luckily everything worked out. phew, heh -- nm - CQ Mar 5, 11:29 2
      - and bonus: - decline Mar 5, 11:34 1
        
        best. part. of all. -- nm - Diva Mar 5, 11:35
someone tell diva that mel can be a male pole dancer if he wants to. -- nm - tRuMaN Mar 5, 11:19
His mother was not intimidated by his suit job. Jesus. What a flake. -- nm - Spawn Mar 5, 11:18
here's a question - does she want her husband happy, or just impressive? what does he want? if he is doing this to please his mother, that's a - Andie Mar 5, 11:18 2
- She's with the wrong guy for her no matter what his reasons are. -- nm - mara Mar 5, 11:32
- As usual, *ding* -- nm - pmb Mar 5, 11:30
Yeah...cause who gives a shit if the guy's actually happy now....he needs to put his suit back on. -- nm - Jim Mar 5, 11:17
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boston.com Love Letters: He went from white collar to blue

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