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boston.com Love Letters response to "White Collar Romantic":

WCR, you have a say, but it's not your final decision, if that makes sense. You're certainly allowed to have an opinion. And you're allowed to feel strange about his priority shift. It's an adjustment.

Of course, relationships are best when both parties are happy with their daily routines. When people are miserable all day, they wind up bringing that sadness home. Your guy wasn't happy, and you probably knew that early on. That means you knew he might wind up bailing on his white-collar job.

If you suspect that this hands-on job isn't going to bring him happiness in the long run, you can talk to him about his plan for what's next. And you're certainly allowed to discuss financial concerns. That's marriage. But if this is just about you and your family's inability to accept of what makes him happy, take pause. It doesn't mean that you're a bad person. It just means that you have very different interests and priorities than your partner. That's something to consider before walking down the aisle.

Find out if this kind of job really makes him happy. If it does, do some soul-searching. If it bothers you now, it will bother you like crazy in a decade.

And try to focus on him, not his mom. It's her job to make him as happy as possible. It's his job to consider himself without forgetting his partner.

Readers? Can she learn to accept his new job? Should she have to? Is this snobbery? Should she have a say in the decision? What's up with the mom? Share.



� Meredith



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