boston.com Love Letters Response to: Confused in Somerville
Posted by
Diva (aka Diva)
Mar 11 '10, 09:32
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CIS,
1. You're not just friends. You made out and cuddled. Not friends. More than friends. Friends with (not very many) benefits.
2. You have every right to feel blindsided and hurt by this new girlfriend. When did he get a girlfriend? When was he planning to tell you? Insensitive. Blech. Which confirms point No. 1. Not friends.
3. "I'm writing to you in the hopes that you can provide some perspective and a harsh dose of reality �" Don't mind if I do! For whatever reason, this guy doesn't want you to be his girlfriend. Maybe it's because you used to date his friend. Who knows? What we do know is that he has been leading you on, and that he's now rejecting you with little sensitivity.
I know what you mean about the time thing. "I have put in the time." In a perfect world, that would matter. But in real life, it doesn't. We can spend years trying to get someone to love us right, but there are no A's for effort. This whole thing ended as soon as he said "girlfriend" and wasn't talking about you.
Don't give him any more of your time. Take some space. He'll probably beg you to stick around (he quite obviously likes your companionship), but do what's best for you, which is to go and find some other guy to think about. Look for someone who will take you to a party and then make out with you without surprising you with a secret girlfriend. Find someone who is comfortable saying that he wants to be more than friends.
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