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In response to
"Another nosy bitch! -- nm"
by
Spawn
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that's what hax said!
Posted by
16 & pixie (aka chris)
Mar 11 '10, 11:43
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Carolyn Hax: You know what? Snooping through his stuff is worse than having some nudenick shake herself in your fiance's face for money. That's because his icky behavior says very little about him except maybe that he buys a little too mindlessly into Guy Tradition. Your icky behavior, on the other hand, says that you're okay with drawing lines for him but that you won't draw lines for yourself.
Please figure out who you are, and then start living as that person. Are you honorable? Are you strong? Are you thick-skinned (which is very different from strong)? Are you trusting? Are you trustworthy? Are you principled?
If you are, then add those up into some position on the whole stripper thing, be it:
1. If some paid nudenick shakes herself in his face in the name of Bachelor Partyhood, so be it, it's just a stupid rite of passage (or a rite of stupid passage); or,
2. I asked him not to go to a strip club, and I trust him to honor that, or I wouldn't be marrying him; or,
3. I asked him not to go to a strip club, and I know he probably will anyway, but at least I said my piece--and besides, I do know it's more his buddies' thing than his, and he might as well have this fun while it's there; or,
4. I asked him not to go to a strip club, and I don't think he really understands why it matters to me--I think he just "yessed" me and plans to go anyway, which suggests he's too weak to own what he's doing, which I find abhorrent, so the wedding is off; or,
5. Am I seriously marrying a guy who feels the need for a bachelor party? Maybe the problem isn't the strippers, it's that I'm marrying someone with all the maturity of a frat pledge.
Whatever it is, you need to own it.
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