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In response to "don't answer this if it's too personal: Can you say what it is you're not comfortable with about it? -- nm" by ty97

I am not sure exactly.

It is not based on religious or moral grounds. Maybe it's ingrained societal reasons. The idea of actually acting on my attractions pretty much grosses me out so I have this simultaneous attraction/repulsion thing going on. If I could take a pill and not be gay I would, though I don't know if my sexual hangups would be the same if I wasn't gay. I've thought that maybe I should just force myself to have sex (even if I have to pay for it though the illegality of that bothers me) just to get it over with. I can't imagine that someone I would be attracted to would be attracted to me anyway because I think my standards are way out of my league.

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