less tax, more Hax: should ex-GF told her friend how horrible her ex was when he started dating the friend?
Posted by
pigby (aka chris)
Nov 28 '08, 11:24
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Rehash: Hi Carolyn, thanks for taking my question. Very long story short: had a HORRID ex-boyfriend. Not physically abusive, but manipulative, insecure, void of emotion, insensitive, and he cheated. We started as friends, he was an excellent friend but a HORRIBLE boyfriend. Horrible. It hurt like hell, but in time I got over it.
He happens to be at my work now so we run into each other at many work functions, which involves banquets, socializing, etc. It's friendly/civil. On one such occasion he met a friend who went with me. They seemed to hit it off.
It's been several years since we've dated and I have no more anger toward him so when she asked if I'd be "OK with it" I bit my tongue to all the warnings I wanted to yell out (we're friends, but not very close) and told her I didn't mind. She was happy about the way things were going, and it's not my business.
Fast-forward a few months. He broke her heart. Shattered. Did the exact same thing to her he did to me, identical behavior, it's uncanny. I am at a loss.
Should I have warned her? I feel terrible about it. What can I do here? She and I getting together for coffee and I know she's going to want to rehash everything that transpired with him and me. I'd rather not... bring all this back to the surface again and relive it.
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Responses:
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No. He could have grown up over those years. -- nm
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Amy
Nov 28, 11:35
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Seriously though, she could have warned her but to add in the caveat that maybe he wasn't ready for a relationship back then. -- nm
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Loyola
Nov 28, 11:34
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i think she did the right thing - if he had been violent, an addict, etc, she should have warned her. bad behaviour, not so much. who's to say he
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El Fandie
Nov 28, 11:31
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No, everybody loves surprises. -- nm
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Loyola
Nov 28, 11:30
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Of course she should have warned her. That's first-hand experience. And yes, listening to her 'rehash' is your penance for not saying something. -- nm
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Dr.Vermin
Nov 28, 11:28
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