ST Alpha - "LIR: ugh, this is the family drama stuff that drives me f-in crazy...(with addendum)" (Reading a Post)

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LIR: ugh, this is the family drama stuff that drives me f-in crazy...(with addendum)

Posted by Stephen (Status Seeker) (aka Sceire) Aug 13 '10, 12:54

I know that in a marriage each person, unless they can't stand their own family, are going to, to some degree, play favorites, but...

Ashlee arranged it so that Connor would spend the day of her c-section with her sister so that she could bring him to see the baby. This of course means that her sister, and her sisters son, would be one of the first people(s) to see the new baby.

Then I asked when did she think it would be ok for my sister (and kids if allowed) could come see the new baby and was told "we'll see..."

Oh, and her other issue was that Connor had to be the first kid to meet his new brother. Ok, it wasn't really something I thought of to be honest, but I can see her point, I guess. Of course with the arrangements she's made I guess it's ok for "her" nephew to see the baby when Connor does, but not "my" nieces and nephew?

I'm trying to just chalk this up to end of term grumpyness or whatever, but it's my sister who has come down several times (along with my older niece) to help her clean the house, etc., but then this...

very frustrating.

Am I overreacting here?

Responses:

I would go along with it. In the long run it won't matter -- nm - amoxy Aug 13, 13:15
what is the hospital gonna kick your sister out? if it was my new niece/nephew, I would just be there to see the kid. if my in-law didn't want me to - dogbert Aug 13, 13:10
your feelings are legit. However, you will not win this. -- nm - loosilu Aug 13, 13:01
Women. What can you do. -- nm - Loyola Aug 13, 12:59
short answer: yes. - b. Aug 13, 12:58 47
- in my situation, that would be directly attributed to malicious intent - oblique Aug 13, 13:08 4
  - that sucks, but it doesn't sound like it's applicable to stephen. if there's been other shut-out-y behavior, things may be different. -- nm - b. Aug 13, 13:09 3
    - His sister could feel that way (intentionally left out) - oblique Aug 13, 13:11 2
      - to me, it sounded like stephen is the one who's feeling slighted. I hope his sister, who has given birth herself, would understand. if not, sorry! -- - b. Aug 13, 13:16 1
        
        Oh, I'm feeling it, on her behalf as well, and when/if she finds out I'm sure she will too -- nm - Stephen (Status Seeker) Aug 13, 13:21
- Sure, but when she sets it up that way...and in such a way that her family is included and mine isn't... -- nm - Stephen (Status Seeker) Aug 13, 12:59 41
  - imo, if she spent all this time carrying and delivering the baby, she gets... what's reasonable? like 6 hours? - TFox Aug 13, 13:05 17
    - Agreed. - musubi Aug 13, 13:10
    - Amy said no visits the *day* of. That was for the three of us. - Spawn Aug 13, 13:09 6
      - See, that's what I wanted, but even with Connor it was her moms, and her grandma that were there right afterwards... - Stephen (Status Seeker) Aug 13, 13:21
      - Then reitirate that and say the sister can bring Conor, but then she has to leave, and can see the baby the next day. -- nm - the liioulu with heat advisory Aug 13, 13:16 1
        
        Sorry, misread the pposter. -- nm - the liioulu with heat advisory Aug 13, 13:20
      - See, that's what I wanted, but even with Connor it was her moms, and her grandma that were there right afterwards... - Stephen (Status Seeker) Aug 13, 13:16
      - personally, that's what i would prefer. i didn't want to deal with anyone else that day. -- nm - TFox Aug 13, 13:11 1
        
        It really made sense and made it far more enjoyable. - Spawn Aug 13, 13:15
    - logic would dictate nine months. -- nm - loosilu Aug 13, 13:06 8
      - eff that. she already cashed in a lot of it getting pancakes and backrubs and shit. - TFox Aug 13, 13:08 7
        
        right, because 2 hours a week of pancakes and backrubs is equivalent. -- nm - loosilu Aug 13, 13:09 6
        
        he's totally joking. -- nm - b. Aug 13, 13:11 5
        
        loosi is too - Roger More Aug 13, 13:12 3
        
        zing! (nm) - musubi Aug 13, 13:14
        
        you are so dead. -- nm - loosilu Aug 13, 13:13
        
        heh. -- nm - TFox Aug 13, 13:12
        
        I know. - loosilu Aug 13, 13:12
  - she also gets to decide who sees her after she's gone through surgery. - b. Aug 13, 13:04 7
    - p.s. if it is just about seeing the baby, like in the nursery instead of her room, I'd wager ashlee wouldn't have an issue with it. -- nm - b. Aug 13, 13:08 4
      - I don't think most hospitals have nurseries anymore. (nm) - musubi Aug 13, 13:19 2
        
        although some hospitals still have them, I should have said "a nursery" instead. -- nm - b. Aug 13, 13:21
        
        STOP IGNORING ME!!! -- nm - Spawn Aug 13, 13:21
      - That was why I asked. A lot of hospitals don;t do the nursery thing, unless theer are complications. -- nm - Spawn Aug 13, 13:08
    - this too. I'd pick my sister or best friend before anyone else. -- nm - loosilu Aug 13, 13:07 1
      - *feels shunned* -- nm - dogbert Aug 13, 13:14
  - You've got two choices - suck it up, or invite your sister to come too. -- nm - the liioulu with heat advisory Aug 13, 13:01
  - 20 years down the road, no one's going to give a crap about who saw who first. -- nm - Reagen Aug 13, 13:00 13
    - hurt feelings are hurt feelings. - Stephen (Status Seeker) Aug 13, 13:09 7
      - Is your sister making an issue of it? "Is someone seeing the new baby before me?" - JaxSean Aug 13, 13:16 1
        
        She isn't, because she doesn't know yet. - Stephen (Status Seeker) Aug 13, 13:25
      - And people can let hurt feelings go. - musubi Aug 13, 13:13
      - all I'm saying is, you can make this an issue, or you can take the long view that it's not going to matter in the end. -- nm - Reagen Aug 13, 13:11
      - I would really play up the "hurting from the surgery and does not want to entertain" aspect, then. -- nm - Spawn Aug 13, 13:10
      - if its part of a pattern, that's different, but people shouldn't feel excluded if they don't get to immediately see other people's babies. * - TFox Aug 13, 13:10 1
        
        it's the "before the other person" part where it gets weird. -- nm - loosilu Aug 13, 13:11
    - This. (nm) - musubi Aug 13, 13:08
    - I disagree. My mother and I saw my my niece before any other (non mom & dad) family members 14 years ago. - Spawn Aug 13, 13:07
    - this. I never understood the whole thing about this. -- nm - loosilu Aug 13, 13:01
    - what else are they going to have to fight about in the hovercar? -- nm - crash davis Aug 13, 13:01 1
      - whose turn it is to get probed by the Antaerians. -- nm - Reagen Aug 13, 13:02
I don't think you're overreacting in having those feelings, but that said, in the long run its probably best to just go along with her. -- nm - crash davis Aug 13, 12:56 6
- This sound far too much like taking the "yes, dear" route for me. - Stephen (Status Seeker) Aug 13, 13:01 5
  - as they say, pick your battles. -- nm - loosilu Aug 13, 13:04
  - Agreed. But theone time I give into this is when my wife has expelled a new human from her body. - Spawn Aug 13, 13:04
  - yeah, but Reagen had a valid point above -- nm - crash davis Aug 13, 13:03
  - As long as *you're* the first one to see the baby (along with her), I think that's importance #1. - JaxSean Aug 13, 13:03 1
    - I was probably the eleventeenth person to see my younger brother and sister, and couldn't care less. -- nm - loosilu Aug 13, 13:06

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LIR: ugh, this is the family drama stuff that drives me f-in crazy...(with addendum)

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