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In response to "I also hate the assumption that (and perhaps not in her case) if she was to go to bed at 9pm that he has to end his day -- nm" by kilbooooo

Yeah, this one is where we are. She goes to bed around ten, but I'm never in bed until midnight.

I'm sure she would prefer me come to bed at the same time, but gets that I just won't fall asleep if too much earlier.

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