Parable of the Talents, lolcat version.
Posted by
znufrii
Dec 18 '08, 12:12
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Teh Story of teh Monyz
14 It also wil be liek a CEO kitteh wif a big company goin on vacashun, who taeks all the monyz frum company and divideds it up and gav it all to the cleaning kittehs.15 To one he gav $5 billionz monyz, to anuther he gav $2 billionz monyz, and to anuther gav $1 billion monyz, each basd on whut he thot tey cud do. Tehn he left.16 Teh one wit $5 billonz went to stok brokerz and short-saled the Dow and crashed fiev companyz n gotz $10 billionz monyz.17 Teh one wit $2 billionz also went to stok brokerz n short-saled NASDAQ and crashed 10 companyz and gotz $4 billonz monyz.18 But teh cleaning kitteh who got $1 billionz moneyz divided the monyz into 10,000 $100,000 pilz and put the monyz in free cheking accounts wif no interest but backed by FDIC so he wudn't looz enny o teh monyz. It wud al be saef.
19 "Then teh CEO came bak from vacashun n asked teh cleaning kittehs, "I can has monyz?"20 Teh cleaning kitteh what gotz teh $5 billionz brot teh other $5 billionz he got. 'Suh,' he sayd, 'You can has gav me $5 billionz monyz. I gotz liek $5 billionz mor! I crashed teh Dow, but u can has mor monyz!'
21 "Teh CEO sayd, 'O rly? No wai! Ur so awsum! U gud wit my monyz; so now I maekz you Viec Pressdent o Monyz for company! I so hapy, let's parteh!'
22 "Teh cleaning kitteh what gotz $2 billionz monyz cam next. 'Suh,' he sayd, 'You can has gave me $2 billionz monyz; I gotz liek $2 billionz mor!' I braekded NASDAQ, but you can has mor monyz!
23 "Teh CEO sayd, 'O rly? No wai! Ur so awsum! U gud wit my monyz; so now I maekz u Viec Pressdent o Saelz for company! I so hapy, let's parteh!'
24 "Then teh saef cleaning kitteh caem. 'Suh,' he sayd, 'I knowz you can be meanys sumtimes, takin mor than wat u startd wit, cheetin, and takin stuffs dat isn't urs.25 So I gots scaerd n putted al ur monyz into saef accountz backed by teh guvmint. Look, I givz u bak ur allstuffs nao. U losteds nuffinz!'
26 "Teh CEO sayd, 'You meenyhead poopyface kitteh! So u knew tat I tak mor tan I start wit n cheets n taks wat isn't mien?27 Then u shuld at leest hav put teh monyzs in CD to get teh compund interests n stufs!.
28 " 'Tak al his monyz n giv it to teh guy who gotz $10 billionz monyz nao.29 For thoes what gots some wil get mor, n be rich n stuffs. Thoes who don't got nuffin wil have al their stuffs taken away from dem.30 N trow that stoopid cleaning kitteh outside, where dere r no couches, no monyz, no cheezburgers and no bukkits-- jest waters sprayin al over him. Srsly.'
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