boston.com Love Letters: He Got Naked w/Others...
Posted by
Diva (aka Diva)
Jan 7 '11, 07:33
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Hi, Meredith.
I'll start this query in the usual fashion by saying that my boyfriend "Tom" and I have been together for a year and a half and have a great relationship. We are both in our mid-20s, educated, hard-working, and very affectionate with each other. We have discussed moving in together once I finish grad school in a few months. I have no doubts that we love each other and share a great friendship, but I'm having trouble getting over something that happened last week.
Tom spent a few nights visiting a male friend in his old college town. He called a few times while he was out there, and I had no problem with him getting away for a few days. However, when he came home, he told me about his big night out, which included a dinner party followed by a naked hot tub session with about five other people, two of whom were girls. He seemed a little uncomfortable telling me. He didn't tell me straight out that everyone was naked -- I assumed they were and he confirmed my suspicion. I smiled and acted like it wasn't a big deal at first, but after a few minutes of cuddling he figured out that I was upset. I told him that I wasn't angry. I was "bothered" (like that makes more sense). He reassured me that I'm his only girl and absolutely nothing happened, and I believe him.
This particular college town (and the people he was visiting) is especially free-spirited and of a communal nature, so I wasn't surprised that everyone was eating vegetarian dinners and walking around naked. Tom thoughtfully listened to my concerns about the hot tub and worked hard to reassure me that "it wasn't like that." Even though I absolutely believe him that nothing happened, and that the hot tub party wasn't exactly a sexual romp in hot water, it's still eating away at me that he was naked with girls I don't know in a hot tub.
Tom actually joked that I should write to an advice column about this, and I silently agreed. I have some major physical insecurities and am apparently a bit jealous.
I know I'm obsessing about this, but am I completely out of line? I trust and love him, and I know the feeling is mutual. Am I being petty for letting this get to me so much? I don't want to make him feel like he has to sacrifice fun times because he's with me, but hanging out with naked chicks in a hot tub is very low on my list of desired mental images.
� Left Out of the Tub, Boston
Diva sez: I hope Nuditarian gets to see this one.
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Responses:
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"It's still eating away at me that he was naked with girls I don't know in a hot tub."
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Spawn
Jan 7, 08:02
3
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if she really trusts him (and I see no reason why she shouldn't) she has to let. it. go. -- nm
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Andie
Jan 7, 08:00
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she needs to go to a gym, find 3 muscle bound droid ridden guys, find a hottub, get nekkid
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tRuMaN
Jan 7, 07:58
1
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she likely feels " left out" and maybe she and the Doorman need to meet up at the roof top hot tub.
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Epiphany
Jan 7, 07:52
1
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Dude needs to be smarter; that's a don't ask, don't tell situation.
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Will Hunting
Jan 7, 07:51
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Nothing happened, get over it. -- nm
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Ender
Jan 7, 07:40
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*shrug* It's just nudity. -- nm
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znufrii
Jan 7, 07:40
2
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Good Lord, woman. You are not being petty/out of line.
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con_carne
Jan 7, 07:39
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she's just jealous she missed out on a possible opportunity to go back in time to her glory days -- nm
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Hotkiss
Jan 7, 07:38
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He was fairly honest about it. Get over it, Jealous Tubthumper. -- nm
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JaxSean
Jan 7, 07:37
2
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she needs to chill. -- nm
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loosilu
Jan 7, 07:36
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