oh man, I could tell you some redneck wedding stories
Posted by
zeitgeist
Dec 20 '08, 22:44
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A wedding out in the country, I had been in the area a month earlier, on the other side of the street was a gated retirement community, this side was a trailer on blocks and a deck, rotties on rope leashes. The brother was a dead drunk preachur 'right out of central casting' I swear its no exaggeration, the guy cracked open a fifth of JD and started drinking it down, first third he was all good will towards the brotherhood of man and the love of our lord jayzus, the next third he was all 'you sinners are goin to hell' and hitting the bottom he started taking marching orders from satan. the brothers had to wrestle him down and made him sit on the corner of the deck at the end of the wedding party and sorta hidden from the guests. (you promised to behave, btw, the guy had the califlower eyebrows, missing tooth and way broken nose of a drunk brawler)
so I do the wedding, during the rings exchance the passed out brother wakes up and gives me the old harry eyeball. the bride and groom are swearing eternal love and the bestman/brother is seething.
I'm getting nervous as we wind things up and I back down the steeps to the deck (it was almost head hieght due to flood issues) and I'm pronouncing them married you may now kiss the bride from the back row of the seated guests and as I'm practically dashing to the car the mother oof one of them demands I come back and 'introduce' the couple.
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