ST Alpha - "friday hax chat q: how important is sex in a marriage, really?" (Reading a Post)

SlickerTalk
Search Archives
The Leaderboard
The FAQ

Down to Post

Backboards:

Posts: 151

friday hax chat q: how important is sex in a marriage, really?

Posted by cupixie (aka chris) Feb 11 '11, 10:12

attraction: Hi Carolyn,

How important do you think sexual attraction is in a marriage? Have a friend that is considering getting engaged to a man that she thinks is perfect except for the fact that she is not very physically attracted to him. She is in her 30s and feels like he is the best man she has ever met but she is worried she is going to end up with a sexless marriage. I believe she feels like if she doesn't marry him she won't meet anyone as good as him in time to have children. I don't really know what to say and feel at a loss. Just curious if you have any advice.

Responses:

Carolyn's response: - cupixie Feb 11, 10:42 1
- Meredith is better. (nm) - musubi Feb 11, 10:45
Little dick -- nm - con_carne Feb 11, 10:38
This story is worded so vaguely. Is the "friend" already dating this guy? Do they currently have sex (or a lack thereof) right now? - musubi Feb 11, 10:36 11
- And did the guy propose or is she just considering what she'd say if he did? What's the dude sticking around for and is he blind to her sexual apathy - Max Feb 11, 10:38 9
  - Shes going to ask him to propose. -- nm - miss amanda phones Feb 11, 10:43
  - Does the guy even want to hook up with her? Maybe he's not the only homely one? Is she projecting unrelized fears? - musubi Feb 11, 10:41 7
    - or is she a frigid b!tch who cannot enjoy sex with anyone, let alone him, and hasn't figured that out yet so she thinks it's his fault? -- nm - znufrii Feb 11, 10:42 4
      - wow, there's no reason to assume that. -- nm - loosilu Feb 11, 10:44 3
        
        Other than the fact that all women are frigid b's. (nm) - dignan si Feb 11, 10:48
        
        just throwing it out there as a possibility. - znufrii Feb 11, 10:45 1
        
        I think the b word made it sound harsh -- nm - loosilu Feb 11, 10:45
    - And are they human or cartoon ogres? -- nm - Max Feb 11, 10:42 1
      - Gnomes, obviously. (nm) - musubi Feb 11, 10:43
- yup, this could totally be a "hypothetical friend" situation. -- nm - znufrii Feb 11, 10:38
fuxk that -- nm - Danedukenuuk Feb 11, 10:35
She may want to try to have sex with him before she rules it out completely. Just a guess. - Inigo Feb 11, 10:32 7
- Your IM is a good point. Maybe she's not physically attracted because she doesn't truly like him, but is convincing herself she does. - Max Feb 11, 10:35
- why do we think she hasn't? -- nm - loosilu Feb 11, 10:32 5
  - "She's worried she's going to end up in a sexless marriage." Doesn't sound she's open to the possibility to me. -- nm - Inigo Feb 11, 10:34 4
    - I don't think we have enough information, but I can absolutely see that scenario even if (especially if) she has had sex with him and wasn't thrilled. -- nm - loosilu Feb 11, 10:35 3
      - If that were the case, I think the line would read "she's worried she'll have bad sex her whole marriage." - Inigo Feb 11, 10:37 2
        
        or, they've slept together, but because she's not attracted to him, she knows it'll drop off to nothing. -- nm - Reagen Feb 11, 10:40 1
        
        this is my interpretation. -- nm - loosilu Feb 11, 10:40
so the FMK situation has become a reality. -- nm - Max Feb 11, 10:31
So she's repulsed by him enough to not want to have sex with him, but wants to marry him? Uh, that's bad, hmkay. -- nm - JaxSean Feb 11, 10:26 8
- Well, "not *very* physically attracted" doesn't quite = "repulsed", but... - Dr.Vermin Feb 11, 10:30 7
  - yup. exactly the type of "cuturally informed" priority I refer to below. -- nm - znufrii Feb 11, 10:34 1
    - Glad we agree. Also, from the other day.... - Dr.Vermin Feb 11, 10:36
  - before we jump to that conclusion, I totally understand. There are plenty of guys who are not repulsive, but are still not sexually attractive. -- nm - loosilu Feb 11, 10:31 4
    - and women, as a rule, don't tend to marry guys who they see in that way -- nm - cupixie Feb 11, 10:34 3
      - you think so? I disagree. -- nm - loosilu Feb 11, 10:36 2
        
        That's right. They marry the safe guy and secretly bang the hot doormen. -- nm - Max Feb 11, 10:39 1
        
        if they hear the clock ticking, they'll totally marry the safe guy. - loosilu Feb 11, 10:41
Find a liquor store close to your house. -- nm - Dr.Vermin Feb 11, 10:24
Good lord, that's pathetic. -- nm - David Feb 11, 10:23
put a bag over his head -- nm - Beaker Feb 11, 10:15 5
- (he sounds fat.) -- nm - TFox Feb 11, 10:19 4
  - and rich -- nm - znufrii Feb 11, 10:27
  - faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat -- nm - oblique Feb 11, 10:25
  - buy him a treadmill -- nm - Beaker Feb 11, 10:20 1
    - And hang some twinkies in front of it -- nm - con_carne Feb 11, 10:32
she's been dating him for long enough to consider getting engaged, but doesn't think the dude is hot? -- nm - amanda jones Feb 11, 10:14 12
- It's a matter of prioritizing what you want in a relationship -- nm - znufrii Feb 11, 10:16 11
  - but that's not really what the friend is worried about. she wants sex in a marraige to be a priority but knows she won't be getting it with this guy -- nm - cupixie Feb 11, 10:18 10
    - If she's stayed with him this long, there's higher priorities at play here, imho. - znufrii Feb 11, 10:24 3
      - and to take the argument one step further - znufrii Feb 11, 10:27 2
        
        or else they want two different things, which may not both be available. -- nm - loosilu Feb 11, 10:30 1
        
        then it goes back to being a matter of one being a priority over the other. - znufrii Feb 11, 10:33
    - She also wants children. She has to decide which is a higher priority. -- nm - loosilu Feb 11, 10:21 5
      - you can always buy a kid. -- nm - TFox Feb 11, 10:22 4
        
        Oh sh**. (nm) - WeeFox Feb 11, 10:31 3
        
        relax ... he didn't say he'd sell one. -- nm - loosilu Feb 11, 10:32 2
        
        Still...Not it! (nm) - WeeFox Feb 11, 10:33 1
        
        the younger one will get more cash anyway! -- nm - loosilu Feb 11, 10:33
depends entirely on the people involved - znufrii Feb 11, 10:14

Post a message top

friday hax chat q: how important is sex in a marriage, really?

Replies are disabled on threads older than 7 days.