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bonus friday hax chat q: when (if at all) should a party host be expected to chip in for guest's expenses? (she can't afford a whole trip)

Posted by moles (aka chris) Feb 25 '11, 12:08

.Party planning
Carolyn, I keep hearing it is terrible for the hosts to ask for donations to attend a party. I am organizing my best friend's bachelorette party. Can I ask for people to chip in for the hotel on the invitation? I'm a graduate student and can no way afford to pay for the whole thing myself. I'm already flying in for the bachelorette party weekend and really stretching my budget. If I was expected to pay for it all, it wouldn't happen! So are there exceptions to the rule?

Responses:

for a bachelorette party? Guests should chip in. -- nm - loosilu Feb 25, 12:28
Oh, all guests definitely chip in. -- nm - Dr.Vermin Feb 25, 12:12 1
- (except the bride, of course) -- nm - Dr.Vermin Feb 25, 12:12
If you show up at the bachelor/bachelorette party, you split the costs of that party - Will Hunting Feb 25, 12:12
Guests should not be expected to share the cost. Otherwise they'd be called hosts. - TWuG Feb 25, 12:11 16
- [deleted]
- for most things I agree, but for Bachelor/Bachelorette parties everybody should chip in. -- nm - decline Feb 25, 12:14 14
  - Yeah, I agree. For the bachelor/bachelorette party the "host" is really more the organizer than truly the host. -- nm - pmb Feb 25, 12:17
  - Then those people should be in on the planning. If the first they hear about the party is receiving an invite and an invoice for their share, then - TWuG Feb 25, 12:17 12
    - that's kind of extreme. -- nm - loosilu Feb 25, 12:28
    - Who'd ever do this? - Will Hunting Feb 25, 12:26 2
      - Because the share would change depending on how many attended. If 5 people are invited and 1 can't come then the others' share jumps - TWuG Feb 25, 12:29 1
        
        Yeah....I just don't think for something like bachel-parties...that this is an unexpected situation - Will Hunting Feb 25, 12:33
    - so if you were coordinating the bachelor party you would pay for all the lapdances? - decline Feb 25, 12:20 5
      - If I was the host for a bachelor party I'd be looking for co-hosts and would cover the cost of a stripper or the cover for a strip club. - TWuG Feb 25, 12:27 4
        
        you're a pretty generous exception then. i've literally never attended or heard of attending a bachelor party like this. -- nm - TFox Feb 25, 12:28 3
        
        Yeah, I do tend to be generous, but I also like to be in on the planning when it's my money being spent. - TWuG Feb 25, 12:35
        
        I haven't attended a bachelorette party like this. -- nm - loosilu Feb 25, 12:29
        
        yeah, me neither. -- nm - decline Feb 25, 12:29
    - well, or they have the right to not go. (bachelor/ette party planning is an effing headache whenever travel is involved.) -- nm - TFox Feb 25, 12:19
    - That seems somewhat reasonable, if occasionally not feasible. -- nm - Dr.Vermin Feb 25, 12:18
guests pay at bachelor and bachelorette parties, the minutia of etiquette be damned. -- nm - TFox Feb 25, 12:10

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bonus friday hax chat q: when (if at all) should a party host be expected to chip in for guest's expenses? (she can't afford a whole trip)

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